Dana Carvey: Squatting Monkeys Tell No Lies (2008)

Starring: Dana Carvey
Grade: C-

There are some solid bits in here, but I can’t say Dana Carvey would make any new fans from a special like this.

Summary

To start everything off, he attacks pretentious people and talks about having a case of “the fuck-its”, something every adult goes through. He then makes fun of Scientology and comes up with a fake religion to combat Scientologists. This elaborate, elongated, and over-the-top joke leads to the name of the special. He then talks about Indian people, having an Indian doctor versus a doctor from Brooklyn, getting older and getting hurt doing anything, workouts you can do when you’re old, and old guys having no problem being completely naked in a gym.

What’s up with that too? Why do old people give that little of a fuck?

He talks about old parents and does a whole thing on Andy Rooney. His observations during the impression are funny to think about, but the jokes aren’t really that funny. Next, he touches on politicians and does impressions of each of them like Arnold Schwarzenegger, Hillary Clinton (and Bill Clinton getting mad on how poorly she’s doing at her speeches), and Barack Obama. One funny part is Carvey mentioning how tough it was for Barack to run for president with a middle name like Hussein and how the only person that would have a worse time would be a guy named Charles Manson Hitler.

This might have been the only notable joke I laughed out loud about.

He does a chuckle-worthy impression of Al Gore, but he milks it until it’s not funny anymore. Next, he goes on with impressions of George W. Bush, Dick Cheney, and a scenario where Ronald Reagan is an “oracle” of sorts for the future presidents, deciding who will take over for generations. It can be kind of funny like when he tells Jon Kerry he can’t be president because he looks like Herman Munster, but he wastes the idea by using it to go back to doing impressions of politicians he’s already gone over in the special, and the one’s he was famous for making fun of on Saturday Night Live like George H.W. Bush and Ross Perot. After getting through this stretch, he goes over today’s fathers versus fathers of the past, the amusing “two-parent technique”, helping kids with their math homework and how crazy the story problems are (very true), dealing with his own kids and turning into Al Pacino as a dad, kids saying “Dude, seriously” too much, music today, puberty from back when he was kid compared to today, condoms, marriage, divorce, and having to explain the latter two to children. To finish everything off, he ends with a bit about parents bragging about their kids.

My Thoughts:

For people that already know Dana Carvey and his impression-heavy set, you may be satisfied with Squatting Monkeys Tell No Lies because you know what you’re getting. The perfect example of all of this is the red-hot crowd he performs to. There are some amusing parts but nothing crazy funny. Regardless, it did NOT matter to this crowd. They were hanging onto EVERY word Carvey said and laughed obnoxiously throughout like a teen sitcom from Disney on steroids! He could do no wrong to this audience.

I very rarely pay attention to the crowd this much in a stand-up special, but it annoyed me to the point where I was actually mad the crowd was encouraging Carvey to this level. Because of their reactions, he thought he was killing it! I assure you he was not, but it’s not like he could tell.

Someone give the warm-up comedian a fucking raise!

It’s hard to rate this because as I stated before, if you like Carvey, he does what he’s known for. The impressions are still good and the humor and scenarios stemming from them are decent enough to work here and there. However, he still doesn’t know when to quit while he’s ahead. If something works, he doesn’t stop milking it to the point where I’m saying out loud, “GET ON WITH IT!”. What’s shocking to say is that the worst of it didn’t even come in this special. It happened years later in Straight White Male, 60. However, this special showed him planting the seeds, and it brought the hour down. Again, there are some amusing parts because I am a fan of the guy, but there isn’t a lot I can hang my hat on to say, “You got to see this!”. Even though it’s only an hour, I’m positive you can find better specials to watch. Dana Carvery: Squatting Monkeys Tell No Lies is not horrible, but it’s not nearly as funny as this crowd thinks it is.

Was there like a six-drink minimum at this show? It damn sure felt like it!