Movie 43 (2013)

Starring: Elizabeth Banks, Kristin Bell, Halle Berry, Leslie Bibb, Kate Bosworth, Gerard Butler, Josh Duhamel, Anna Faris, Richard Gere, Terrence Howard, Hugh Jackman, Johnny Knoxville, Justin Long, Christopher Mintz-Plasse, Chloë Grace Moretz, Liev Schreiber, Sean William Scott, Emma Stone, Jason Sudeikis, Uma Thurman, Naomi Watts, Kate Winslet, Chris Pratt, Bobby Cannavale, Patrick Warburton, Jack McBrayer, Kieran Culkin, Jeremy Allen White, Stephen Merchant, Matt Walsh, J.B. Smoove, Aasif Mandvi, and Snooki, with (if you watched the other version) Dennis Quaid, Greg Kinnear, Common, Seth MacFarlane, and Will Sasso
Grade: C-

I have a problem with Movie 43. Apparently, there are two different versions of this sketch comedy film. There’s one version (the one I watched) where there are two teenagers trying to trick one of the teenager’s brother into searching for an illegal movie on the internet called Movie 43 that doesn’t really exist. However, as they search the dark web for it, they end up finding videos from it (those videos being the sketches from the rest of the movie). In the other version I haven’t seen (and I never will because I’m not watching this twice), a screenwriter (Dennis Quaid) pitches a script to an executive (Greg Kinnear) part by part.

The other scenario seemed like it fit the film a lot better and from what I read about it, it seemed funnier. The scenario that I watched wasn’t very funny at all, so right away, Movie 43 is off to a bad start. If the main plot is bad, all they got going for them is the sketches. So here we go…

Since this is basically a sketch-based movie it’s a bit hard to rate. To get to my final grade, I rated each sketch and then came up with a cumulative grade when considering the main plot.

Sketch #1: The Catch

A businesswoman (Kate Winslet) goes on a blind date with some famous rich guy (Hugh Jackman). She wonders why he’s single, but she sees it right after: he has a ball sack attached to his neck.

Rating: Funny as hell.

Sketch #2: Homeschooled

New neighbors ask their fellow neighbors (Liev Schreiber and Naomi Watts) about homeschooling since they do it to their son (Jeremy Allen White). They then tell them how realistic they make the high school experience for their son in the most disturbing and hilarious ways possible.

Rating: My favorite sketch of the movie.

Sketch #3: The Proposition

Julie (Anna Faris) and Doug (Chris Pratt) want to take their relationship to the next level, but when Doug was about to propose to her, Julie reveals that she wants him to shit on her during sex. Even though Doug is uncomfortable with it, he decides to because he loves her.

Rating: The first part of it is okay, but the last part is pretty funny.

Sketch #4: Veronica

Neil (Kieran Culkin) works at a grocery store at night and his ex-girlfriend Veronica (Emma Stone) walks in. They get into a huge argument but don’t realize the Intercom is on. The best line of the whole movie is uttered here too:

Culkin: “I can’t believe you sucked off that hobo for magic beans.”

Stone: “He was a wizard Neil!”

Rating: Hilarious.

Sketch #5: iBabe

Board executives (the head being Richard Gere) talk about their new product the “iBabe” which is a life-sized replica of a woman that is also an MP3 player. They argue over some mechanical issues with the project and why everyone keeps on having sex with it.

Rating: Funny for the most part, but it loses you towards the end.

Sketch #6: Superhero Speed Dating

Robin (Justin Long) goes to a speed dating event. However, each date he goes on is ruined by Batman (Jason Sudeikis) because he wants Robin to leave to help him on his mission.

Rating: Pretty good.

Sketch #7: Machine Kids

It was a commercial about how copiers actually have kids inside them trying to make the machine work and how you shouldn’t yell at them because they’re working hard.

Rating: Pretty funny. It’s only like a minute.

Sketch #8: Middleschool Date

Amanda (Chloe Grace Moretz) is on a date with a boy at his house. She has her period and blood gets on the couch. Since the house is full of men, everyone panics and doesn’t know what to do.

Rating: Very funny.

Sketch #9: Happy Birthday

Pete (Johnny Knoxville) captures a leprechaun (Gerard Butler) for his best friend’s (Sean William Scott) birthday. However, the leprechaun tells them his brother is coming, and they are both nuts.

Rating: Not very good considering the talent.

Sketch #10: Truth or Dare

Emily (Halle Berry) and Donald (Stephen Merchant) are on a first date, and they decide to play “Truth or Dare”. Each dare gets increasingly more outlandish and unreasonable.

Rating: By the end of it, I was a little uncomfortable. This was probably the worst one of the movie.

Sketch #11: Victory’s Glory

In 1959, Coach Jackson (Terrence Howard) coaches an all-black basketball team as they are about to go up against an all-white team. The players are worried, but Jackson explains to them that they’re black and just flat-out better at basketball than white people.

Rating: Pretty funny. This also features real NBA players Jared Dudley, Corey Brewer, and Larry Sanders.

Sketch #12: Beezel

Amy (Elizabeth Banks) thinks Anson’s (Josh Duhamel) cat, an animated one at that, is in love with Anson and is trying to ruin their relationship.

Rating: Above average.

I walked in with low expectations, so I was pleasantly surprised. It was funnier than I thought it was going to be. People called this “one of the worst movies ever”. It’s definitely not that. The problem is that having a sketch movie is just hard to make great. Plus, the background story that revolves around the teenagers was unfunny and stupid. On top of that, the ending was trash. If I watched the other version with Dennis Quaid pitching the script, I might have liked this a little more, but I didn’t. If I do eventually see it, I will update my review though. I promise you that.

The sketches as a whole weren’t that bad though. For the most part, they were pretty funny. I’m not sure where all the hate came from. Unfortunately, the main story bogged the movie down as a whole, and that’s really my issue here. Because of this, I’m kind of stuck in the middle. It’s far from good, but it’s not bad either. There were some funny sketches and moments that made up for the sucky parts.

“Worst movie of all time”?

You guys have to chill out.