Giraffes on Horseback Salad (Graphic Novel) (2019)

Written by Josh Frank and Tim Heidecker and Illustrated by Manuela Pertega
Grade: C+

Giraffes on Horseback Salad is based on an unproduced screenplay by Salvador Dalí centered around the Marx Brothers. As soon as I saw this cover, I had to check this out. Whether this graphic novel was good or bad, the fact that this thing exists is the coolest thing in the world to me.

Summary

To open, we are told through narration from Salvador Dalí himself, that “In the late fourth century, the Western Roman Empire crumbled after nearly 500 years as the world’s greatest superpower. The collapse was blamed on many factors, ranging from military failures and crippling taxation to natural disasters and even climate change. During the reign of Caligula, a steady downward spiral of corruption, loss of social values, and debauchery led to one of the most infamous examples of a society gone mad. Left unchecked, history could repeat itself. Knowing that humans were capable of such unruliness and insanity, the gods came up with a solution, an organized chaos that they would unleash every 500 years, in human form. Caligula took power in 37 AD. That same year, the gods began their first 500-year countdown.”

We now enter 1937 New York City.

Spanish aristocrat Jimmy works for some big corporation as an inventor. He’s crazy rich and has an imagination fit for an inventor. Despite his success in the industrial world with a life of luxury most couldn’t dream of, he has a noticeable hole in his personal life. Yes, he has his fiancée Linda, but there doesn’t seem to be anyone in his life that connects with him on a personal level. Following a day at work where he brings up his new idea of “Sky Roads” to his superiors, he gets ready to go out with Linda who calls him. She says she’ll meet him at the restaurant Chey Phoenix, but it’s because we see her cheating on him with some guy named Michael. She already has a private table reserved for six of their friends, though Jimmy isn’t too excited about having to hang with them. Jimmy beats Linda to Chey Phoenix. As a result, he’s forced into conversation with their annoying friends. However, the conversation gets interesting, with many talking about the mysterious “Woman Surreal”. She’s the richest woman in the world, never seems to actually work, has the most elaborate entrances anyone has ever seen, and is considered to be the most beautiful woman in the world. Strangely enough, no one knows her personally, and no one has ever seen her actual face. As Jimmy becomes intrigued at this enigmatic woman, Linda and Michael show up, with Linda assuming they were talking about her because they were talking about a woman who is considered to be the “most beautiful”. They all fill Linda in on the Surrealist Woman, but she fans away whatever they’re saying, downplaying everything about her.

Regardless, Jimmy’s imagination and interest is piqued. Commotion at the restaurant starts to happen, so Jimmy excuses himself to see what’s going on. The Surrealist Woman has arrived, and everyone there has gone towards the entrance to see her.

A green stretch limousine pulls up, and out comes Groucho and Chico Marx, the personal assistants of the Surrealist Woman. After causing an expected stir with random onlookers, they introduce her to the public once she steps out of the limo. Everyone is in awe, including Jimmy. Groucho and Chico set up an inflatable, satin, white tunnel, and all three go through it to enter the club. Jimmy is told Linda is mad and she’s looking for him, so he goes back to her. He suggests they leave, but Linda, annoyed at the attention the Surrealist Woman is getting, refuses. Amidst the chaos, Groucho tells Jimmy he has a message for him directly from the Surrealist Woman. Despite an angry Linda looming over him, Jimmy accepts and follows Groucho and Chico through the tunnel to the mainstage of the club. There, they break out into a song, and Jimmy plays the harp unexpectedly to a tune he’s never heard of before. With the Surrealist Woman watching him from afar, he plays this song for a crowd like someone has possessed his body. In one of the illustrations, we can see his body and spirit is essentially a precursor to him becoming Harpo Marx.

This true version of himself is trying to fight to the surface.

The crowd goes crazy. Linda is surprised too. She didn’t even know Jimmy could play an instrument. Jimmy asks Chico if he’ll get to meet the Surrealist Woman, but he says not yet. First, the Surrealist Woman has a gift for him: a special performance. With all the musicians strapping chickens to the top of their heads, the Surrealist Woman presents an enchanting dance number. At the same time, magical, severed women’s hands float down and caress the ballerina who is dancing. The hands start to mess with all the men watching. Jimmy continues with the harp and the hands circle him, following the music. Once the song is over, one of the hands points to a mirror with water dripping down onto for Jimmy to see his reflection. He sees who we know as Harpo. Jimmy collects himself and goes back to his table, with everyone in awe of his performance. Soon after, he sees the white tunnel and tries to rip through it because now, he’s begging to see the mysterious Surrealist Woman. Without saying a word, she gets to her limo, so Jimmy invites her to dinner at his house. Chico tells Jimmy that the Surrealist Woman “does not go to see people. People come to see the Surrealist Woman. But they never do”. As Groucho and Chico talk about the definition of a paradox, the Surrealist Woman tells Jimmy he will come to her party tomorrow, and he will be the guest of honor. Jimmy agrees to go without question, though he notes how sad she seemed and asks Groucho why this is. Groucho admits she is aware of the inevitable. She is always “both in love and heartbroken at the same time. She knows what will happen before it does”. Jimmy asks what will happen, but Groucho vaguely responds with, “Beautiful and horrible things!”.

As Linda watches everything angrily and becomes vengeful towards to the Surrealist Woman, Chico has to throw a reporter out of the limo trying to snatch a picture of her. Following a monologue about love from Groucho, he drives them away, with Jimmy saying goodnight.

At the end of the first act, Jimmy breaks up with Linda and leaves her with Michael. He knows she’s just with him for money and fame and after her constant disparaging comments about the Surrealist Woman, he has enough and leaves her. Jimmy is destined for more important things, and his curiosity about the Surrealist Woman has taken over his life. He doesn’t care though. He has now become entranced by the Surrealist Woman, and he will do anything to learn more about her. Because of his pursuit, his life will change forever.

Looming in the back, as society deteriorates from the Surrealist Woman’s powers, Linda tries to find a way to get back at them.

My Thoughts:

“It won’t play” – Groucho Marx’s exact words when posed with the idea of Salvador Dalí’s screenplay by his brother Harpo.

Well, he was right.

With research conducted by author Josh Frank, we know that surrealist legend Salvador Dalí created this screenplay to try and introduce his surreal artistic endeavors to the big screen. Considering the focus on absurdism, chaos, and a destruction of the natural order, Dalí was right in thinking that the Marx Brothers were the only people that would perfectly fit his concept of onscreen anarchy. The idea is admirable, and I adore the title, but Groucho was right in saying that Giraffes on Horseback Salad would never work as a film, especially in 1937. First of all, they didn’t have the funds for the elaborate vision Dalí had, and doing something this dramatically different with a group of comedians known for a usual routine would’ve been too risky. Without a doubt, it would’ve scared off the public. It was too avant-garde and arguably, too ahead of its time. I’m not saying it would’ve been a massive hit in another time period, but it would’ve been much easier to digest visually had it come out in literally any other time period in film history.

The 1930s though? Not a shot in hell. All the gags thought up involving things like musicians wearing chickens strapped to their hands, floating severed hands, and lobster phones could never work in a mainstream Marx Brother tale. The gags are creative as hell and fit the surrealist mold, but it would never work for the mainstream populace.

Now, for a graphic novel, this was very intriguing. Josh Frank and Tim Heidecker (of Tim & Eric fame) did an amazing job at trying to recreate everything they could from the existing Salvador Dalí treatment and every note available that Frank could find. Additionally, they did a wonderful job at filling in the blanks to make this story a complete one for the world to see. They did an especially great job at creating the Marx Brothers’ antics. In Dalí’s notes, he only had some ideas for them to be involved in, but it was more of a skeleton blueprint for them. It was up to them how they wanted their humor to fill in the cracks with their shtick to lighten the mood, so Frank and Heidecker figured it out impressively. It’s clear to me that this story couldn’t have been in better hands because the best parts of this story all involved Groucho and Chico, with dialogue and joke-filled conversations emulating exactly what a regular Marx film would be. I was amazed at how well they did in paying homage to the comedic legends. The jail scene and the courtroom scene were the best parts of the entire graphic novel, mostly because it was as classically “Marx Brother humor” as you can get.

I would’ve loved to see a version of these scenes specifically on the big screen.

The idea of making Harpo the focus was also an interesting idea. With the way things play out, Giraffes on Horseback Salad seems to act as a prequel to all of the Marx films. Essentially, the story shows as to how this man named “Jimmy” becomes Harpo. It’s because of the intervening of the Surrealist Woman in Jimmy’s life, with Jimmy throwing away his success and riches to fully embrace the chaos and the imagination that makes him who he is. As captivating as this premise is, very little is entertaining outside of the principle four characters. The strange parts are welcomed because we expect it, but the dramatic moments just aren’t very interesting. It also doesn’t mix well with the comedic parts that are the clear highlight of the book, especially because Groucho, Chico, and Harpo are the reasons I even decided to take a look at this. Even then, not enough is explained about the Surrealist Woman to understand her plight. There is a whole section dedicated to how she became who she is, but there aren’t enough questions being answered. You get an idea, but a lot is left to the imagination.

Sure, this does fit surrealism in a nutshell, but it’s frustrating from a narrative standpoint. This is why, “It won’t play”.

Could it play as a direct-to-video animated film in the present day? Absolutely! This may be the only medium that suits this story, allowing for animators and dedicated writers to go all out with the wacky potential of a narrative such as this. Then again, it’s hard to say how big of a fanbase would tune in to see an animated comedy-drama Marx Brothers film about surrealism. Surely, it would be the most niche audience known to man.

If this was a live-action movie, it would be similar to one of those erratic arthouse films where you walk out not knowing what the hell happened, but you simultaneously feel like your life has changed.

Well, this story may not be as life-changing on the arthouse level, but if you read it, you can definitely see why I made these comparisons. What does feel awe-inspiring are the illustrations. I hope Manuela Pertega was paid handsomely because he brought this world to life so well, I honestly think Salvador Dalí himself would be proud. It’s the type of art you want covering your wall because of how detailed and engrossing it is. It’s unforgettable, weird, perplexing, colorful, and above all else, you can’t look away. It’s the type of graphic novel art that may inspire you to pick up a pencil, just so you can start drawing random stuff to try and recreate the magic Pertega put to paper.

Though the story didn’t live up to the expectations I had for this idea, the fact that this exists opens up a world of possibilities. Can we have more Marx Brothers adventures written in a graphic novel format? We brought Salvador Dalí’s idea to life and though it wasn’t necessarily great or anything, I think it was a successful attempt in creating a book worth reading. Yes, I wasn’t a fan of the overall story, but Josh Frank and Tim Heidecker did so well at recreating this screenplay in the Marx Brother format, giving us funny, original dialogue and gags reminiscent of our favorite screen icons, that I would sign a petition for someone to grant them another crack at giving us more graphic novels of Marx Brothers adventures. This time, they can create original stories, fueled entirely on their love of the brothers and their extensive knowledge that exists because of their constant viewings of their past films. Then, we can get Harpo in his regular form throughout the story, mixing it up with Groucho and Chico in their outlandish adventures. Zeppo could return! Hell, Gummo can make an appearance! I wouldn’t mind! I’m telling you right now, if a slew of completely original graphic novels relating to the brothers were produced by the team of Josh Frank and Tim Heidecker, I would read every single one of them. That’s how well they handled this story, despite the obligation to recreate what Salvador Dalí already had down.

Plus, it would give us a much better finale to the team compared to Love Happy.

Look, I love Salvador Dalí’s ambition and his dedication to the surreal. It’s really cool how he wanted to make a film about the Marx Brothers and his artistic style, while shining the spotlight on his close friend Harpo as the star. However, it’s very clear that he needed a co-writer to make sense of the outrageous ideas he had. Authors Josh Frank and Tim Heidecker did their best in creating chicken salad from chicken shit. Even then, Giraffes on Horseback Salad is more a haphazard tale of incredible ambition, half-realized ideas, and boring nonsense. I’m glad us Marx Brothers fans were given one last story of chaos to chew on. Sadly, I just kind of wish it wasn’t this.