Memories of Me (1988)

Starring: Billy Crystal, Alan King, and JoBeth Williams, with a cameo from Sean Connery
Grade: B-

I know this is far from the message Memories of Me was trying to send, but the life of a Hollywood extra looks like a lot of fun.

Summary

In New York City, Dr. Abbie Polin (Crystal) works late at the hospital. Interrupting his trumpet playing, a nurse grabs the heart surgeon for an urgent surgery. Abbie goes about things as usual, cracking jokes and making light of the situation to make everyone feel comfortable as he fixes his patient. Unfortunately, as he works on this old woman’s heart, Abbie ends up having a heart attack himself and drops to the floor mid-surgery.

Waking up in a hospital bed to his on-again, off-again girlfriend and pediatrician Lisa (Williams), the recovering Abbie admits he’s afraid to go to sleep. As he drifts off again, he has a flashback dream to when he was a kid and told his father Abe (King) the same thing. Abbie asks Abe to read a children’s book called “The Dreams Book” to him. Abe adds a couple of lines to get Abbie laughing but then closes the book and starts telling his own story to the annoyance of Abbie. Finally, the adult Abbie awakens from his dream. Soon after, he’s discharged from the hospital and Lisa walks him out. As they discuss Abbie’s workaholic tendencies and lack of sleep, Lisa admits she doesn’t want to lose Abbie, and this is why she’s being serious with him. They go back to Abbie’s place and watch old home videos of Abbie when he was a child. All of the home videos were taken by Abbie’s father Abe, and they get increasingly more embarrassing for Abbie. One video of Abbie’s bothers him the most and it’s when Abbie performed at a “Music Night” at his school. Abe had him wear a tuxedo and further embarrassed Abbie to tears when Abe went in front of the whole school to walk towards the stage to record him. An uncomfortable Abbie changes the subject and turns off the footage, prompting Lisa to ask when his father died. However, Abbie tells her Abe is alive. He just doesn’t have a great relationship with him. In fact, he refers to Abe’s career as a “professional embarrassment”. This results in the two talking about how their relationship failed the first time and how Abbie never lets Lisa in on anything, but Abbie deflects hard. Lisa questions why he dreamt about Abe, but Abbie passes it off as a fluke because of the IV. Next, he asks if Lisa came back because he was sick, but she insists it’s because he’s a good guy and she wants to make it work. It just feels like she’s the only one trying.

After watching another home video of himself as a child, Abbie decides it’s time to see Abe. He heads out to Los Angeles and meets him at the airport.

Right away, Abe has his camcorder and asks for Abbie to do something funny. Though he does, you can tell Abbie is already annoyed. During their drive, Abe talks about how he might get fired for being late from work, as he left to pick him up on his lunch break. After Abe talks about how busy he is, Abbie tells him to not worry because he won’t be staying long. They get to the set of some soap opera, as Abe gets consistent work as an extra. Though he’s scolded for being late, he brushes it off and gets right into his hospital bed because he’s playing an asleep patient. As he preps, he asks Abbie how his mother is doing. It turns out that she visited two weeks ago and moved to Vermont. An extra comes by to ask Abe for advice because there are rumors of layoffs and his character is in a coma, so there’s a good chance he gets laid off first. Abe tells the guy to come out of his “coma”. Then, he tells Abbie his mother is crazy and that’s why he divorced her, though Abbie tells him his mother said she divorced him. Following this, they have to do a take, so Abbie watches from the monitor. The one extra tries to convince the director that he’s coming out of his coma, but the guy turns him down without hesitation. Next, they go through the take, but Abe ruins it by shouting at Abbie and asking why he’s really in Los Angeles. The director has to stop everything, and Abe admits he was the one who ruined the take but it’s because he picked malaria and was getting delirious.

At a local bar where all the extras hang out, the popular Abe plays the piano for all the patrons there, as he’s friends with all of them. As Abe gets Abbie comfortable with some of the characters in the bar, he again asks Abbie why he really came out to Los Angeles. Abbie tries to tell him but is immediately interrupted by Abe and his suggestions to solve whatever is going on with him. Finally, Abbie stops him and tells him he had a heart attack. A shocked and uncomfortable Abe tells him to hold the thought and he leaves the room. Right after, the bartender gets a phone call and it’s for Abbie. Confused, Abbie picks it up, but it’s Abe. He’s calling from the upstairs hallway in the bar. They start arguing over Abe’s immaturity regarding the situation, so they finally hang up and start yelling at one another. An extra and friend of Abe’s interrupts them to thank Abe and cry to him because she’s nervous, and Abe consoles her, prompting Abbie to storm out. They argue on the street, especially because Abe doesn’t see what he did wrong. Abbie goes to a hotel and calls back to Lisa’s answering machine saying everything is going great and how him and Abe are going to a baseball game, lying through his teeth. Following this, Abe shows up to Abbie’s hotel and convinces Abbie to stay with him instead. At Abe’s home, Abbie sees the pictures on the wall of the different movies Abe was in (with a red circle around him to notate where’s at as an extra) and how proud Abe is of his career. Once Abe tells Abbie how he wants a mold made of his ass imprint in front of the Chinese Theatre when he dies (“Gable’s feet, Monroe’s hands, and Abe Polin’s ass”), Abbie sees a picture of him as a child next to Abe. Funnily enough, Abe couldn’t actually find a picture of them together, so he taped two together instead.

The craziness continues.

Abbie questions which bed to take because he doesn’t want to sleep in Abe’s bed, but Abe says to pick whichever one he wants. Then, Abe says he has an early call time tomorrow for a job, even though he told Abbie he was going to take some time off. Before getting into their beds, Abbie minorly offends Abe by saying he’s not really an actor because anyone can be an extra. Abe comes back with saying there’s an “art to being incidental”, how he’s been asked to read for parts before but won’t take just anything that falls in his lap, and how he considers himself to be the “King of the Extras”. To close the night, Abe gets up and tells Abbie he’s in his bed. Without questioning Abe’s annoying (but expected) behavior, they switch beds.

As Abbie tries to get a walk in and gets winded, we see the life of an extra. At work, a worker tells the extras that only twenty of them are now needed, and he appoints Abe to point out the twenty who are working today. At Abe’s home, Abbie continues his workouts and struggles, though he’s interrupted by a telegram who does celebrity impressions. Abbie cuts her short and asks who sent the telegram. It was Lisa, and she shows up to greet Abbie. He asks what she’s doing in Los Angeles, but she was worried and knew he needed help, especially after his phone call. Considering its January, she knew he was lying about the baseball game. After admitting he’s frustrated with Abe, the two head out to the set to find Abe. A jovial Abe (dressed in a lobster costume) greets the both of them and further talks his career up to the positive Lisa and bothered Abbie. After Sean Connery greets Abe while walking by and Lisa being impressed, Abe goes to film his scene. In the middle of shot, Abe goes on a random monologue he hasn’t spoken in thirty years. Everyone’s confused and the director is pissed. They cut and Abbie, acting as the on-set doctor, takes Abe backstage to talk to him with Lisa. They check on him, but everything seems fine. Smoking a cigarette, Abe insists he’s good, but it’s not a great to hear that all he had today was a taco and a couple of beers. Another extra checks on Abe, but Abe tells him he faked it because if he does something crazy, it may get in the movie.

Everything seems fine with Abe at the moment. Though he charms Lisa with his ways, Abbie sees right through it. He wants to repair his relationship with his father, but it gets tough because Abe’s lack of maturity and focus. Additionally, Abe isn’t as healthy as he seems, which only complicates matters further.

My Thoughts:

Despite this movie being centered around the life of a Hollywood extra, Memories of Me is relatable in a lot of ways. There are countless adults who can relate to the themes of not connecting with a parent as they have grown older, not having the best of childhoods and internalizing those feelings until it tears one apart, or not being able to make amends before it’s too late and the resulting feelings of regret. These are some of the more important topics covered in Henry Winkler’s forgotten comedy-drama, a film with its heart in the right place.

Co-written by star Billy Crystal, this touching insight into the troubled relationship between a distant son who has never seemed to connect with anyone on an emotional level and a father who pleads innocence for his refusal to take responsibility for what he’s done as a parent is a story that works in a lot of ways. During this timeframe and even today, Crystal’s Abbie is very much the adult a lot of us have become. We are far removed from our childhood, well into our careers and personal lives, and we don’t want to look back at the memories that have affected us over the years, especially the repressed one’s. It’s very much about the here and now. Though talking to someone about the past would help, it’s looked at as too difficult and even counterproductive to some. Without help from something or someone, very few realize how important getting over the past is to get to a better place in the present and future. Such as the case with Abbie. He’s only close to his on-again, off-again girlfriend Lisa, but they are in this state of flux because of Abbie’s refusal to grow emotionally. It all stems from his father. He knows it and she knows it, but he doesn’t want to do anything about it because of how frustrating it is to dig up those memories of when he was embarrassed or angered by his father Abe’s actions. Abbie is very much all of us in this situation. He’d much rather go back into doing what he was doing to avoid facing his dad, though he knows this heart attack could be some sort of divine intervention. Abbie has to take this as a sign. If all else fails, at least he tried one last time to salvage his relationship with Abe. If it doesn’t work, he knows he at least gave it a shot before he potentially never sees him again.

At the beginning, it’s a very real possibility because they live on opposite ends of the United States, but it becomes even more true as time goes on because the kicker is that Abe is actually dying himself. Once again, it’s divine intervention. This is Abbie’s final shot, and he uses this opportunity to do everything he can to fix his relationship with Abe, despite how painful it can be at times.

Really, Memories of Me can be boiled down to a very simple, poignant reminder of how short life can actually be. This is why the story resonates with us. No one thinks about death until they are faced with it, or they try their hardest not to put the thought in their heads. Abbie is a heart surgeon for fuck’s sake, and he still got a heart attack (while performing surgery no less)! The thought never crossed his mind until it happened, but there’s no wake-up call quite like a near-death experience. Even though he hates to admit it, this is Abbie’s sign to fix his life and change his behavior. It ends up being the greatest thing that could ever happen to him because it’s the first step in having his soul recover along with his body, and it’s a great message to send out regardless of what one may think of the movie as a whole. At the same time, the narrative shines a light on the other half of humanity, the side that is aware of how death can happen at any time, but they try their hardest to block out the possibility. Of course, these are the “life of the party” types of people, and they’re a lot of fun to be around. Even in older age, Abe is this person exactly. Though he’s still spry and very coherent, his body is starting to fail him. He ignores the signs and continues his diet of cigarettes, beer, and tacos, thinking that nothing can stop him, or at least he refuses to not enjoy life to the fullest. He doesn’t want to put a damper on things or be the center of the pity party. He just wants to keep things the way they are. It’s not crazy of us to see things from his perspective either even if we aren’t at the age of someone like Abe.

These stages in our life and thinking about the ever-increasing possibilities about death is some of the hardest things we have to face in life, and Memories of Me does a very good job at forcing the conversation with two characters who don’t really want to talk about it.

Is this not us men, or what?

Now, as much as it succeeds in broaching these types of conversations in these regards, the problem is that it doesn’t get deeper when it needs to. Because of the stars and their reputations, the film tries to balance being funny but keep its emotional core at the same time, but the narrative only gets sadder as the movie goes on and Crystal and King try to keep things as light as they can without getting in too deep. Many times, the characters themselves will stop each other from feeling sorry for the other just to keep things upbeat when you know the whole situation that they’re in is kind of depressing. Simply put, this was the wrong move. They touched the topics with grace with two emotionally stunted characters that both admit their faults, but they still try to play things tough to the very end. At some point, there needed to be a breakdown and an honest conversation between Abbie and Abe, but it never really happens to the extent we want it to. It’s touched on, and they move on in fear of looking week. Again, this is accurate in terms of a father/son relationship but cinematically, there has to be some sort of breaking point. Never getting this is a bit of a letdown by the time the movie ends. We have seen films succeed at being poignant without being too depressing and including enough humor to make us enjoy these characters in darker circumstances. In the case of Memories of Me, this was the right avenue to take the film. Sadly, they just don’t pull it off to the degree they need to for it to have a lasting effect. It’s an entertaining watch for the moment but doesn’t do a good enough job for you to think about it again once it’s over.

I’m not trying to sound harsh, but with so many comedy-dramas out there revolving around similar topics, Memories of Me isn’t one that stands out amongst the crowd because of its failure to capitalize on the ideas presented.

What you expect to be entertaining very much is. The Hollywood setting is a lot of fun and is a good way to make this premise feel a little different, Billy Crystal is as charming as usual, Alan King gives us a late reminder as to why he was so quick on his feet as a comedian, and the similarities and differences between the actors and characters play off well for the father/son dynamic. It’s believable and well-written, but the internal problems start to unravel the potential of the movie. When they should get deeper and have the comedy take a backseat, they don’t go deep enough. The script is pretty solid and riddled with powerful lines that should hit hard. Though Billy Crystal is the highlight in terms of humor and he’s as likable as ever (“Go in there and break a leg. I’ll mend it”), he isn’t up to the task of making this the emotionally stimulating dramedy it could be. As big as a Crystal fan as I am, his foray into dramatic territory has always been hit-or-miss. This script calls for some heavier moments and though Crystal tries his best (considering he helped write it), he seems to hold back too much. Yes, it’s similar to the character of Abbie and his refusal to show his feelings for his father Abe, but this argument only works on paper. If you watch the film, you’ll notice his start-and-stop tendencies that stop certain emotional scenes from reaching their full potential. Because of this, there’s a handful of moments where you want Crystal and King to bring the tears out of you, but it never comes because they only teeter the line and never cross it in fear of losing the fans of both stars’ comedic stylings. They just think Abe saying, “I’m your father…I’m asking.” is enough. I’m not saying this line is bad because it comes in at the right moment each time he says it, but there just wasn’t enough of this.

In Alan King’s defense, there is a certain understated sadness to his performance as Abe that you can see in his tired expression and in certain key moments. There are some nuances there, but Crystal never quite hits his mark when he needs to. Again, he holds back when he should be pushing further. With Abbie, you don’t feel it nearly as much as you should.

This couldn’t be truer than in the car scene right after Abbie saves the bystander at the Chinese Theatre. They argue in the car over Abbie potentially getting sued and finally Abbie loses it. When asked what he wants, Abbie finally says “How about love? Everything I learned about it was from you”. It’s a line that we know means more than the paper it’s written on because of his known emotional problems from the first act. It’s the whole point of the movie. Then, he reiterates the premise by yelling how he came to Hollywood to “…get you in or out of my life”. When Abe asks what his conclusion is, Abbie calls him a fraud and they have this huge argument that should be the biggest moment in the film. Without a doubt, it’s the most emotional part, but herein lies the problem. Neither Crystal nor King is up for it. They threaten to fight but it’s borderline humorous, their emotions are in the wrong places, their reactions just aren’t as gripping as they need to be for such a pivotal moment, and it doesn’t cut as deep as it should for some of the things that they say to each other. Both men can be funny in the movie with each getting turns for some great one-liners, but when it comes to somberness, rage, and the darker reality they live in, it just never clicks like it should. The scene in the kitchen when Abbie reveals the news of the aneurysm is yet another example. After finally starting to make up some ground with his father, he realizes Abe is essentially on his last legs and it’s almost too late. The line of this heart surgeon realizing the sobering truth of “I can’t do anything” is a golden line, but Crystal misses the impact of it ever so slightly. It’s actually a great example of how an actor can say his line verbatim and do his job, but a great actor can make you feel it on a different level. Many times throughout, Crystal falls into the former category. He does his job but doesn’t grab us like he should.

Regarding the script, it fishes heavily for “eloquent” lines and hard-hitting quips a lot. In almost any “serious” conversation, there’s at least one or two retorts that are supposed to be these digging comments or moments trying desperately to be memorable in the grand scheme of things to where it feels like they’re trying a little too hard. It’s not as smooth as Crystal and screenwriter Eric Roth clearly thought it was and comes off as unnatural at times because it’s almost too sharp.

Alan King being the annoying dad of Billy Crystal was pretty solid casting. His constant barrage of quips, general overbearingness, and first-glance charm fits the mold of Abe, a friend of many but a best friend of none. It’s a complicated character to play because he’s the life of the party to acquaintances, co-workers, and people he refers to as friends even though he’s not very close with any of them, to the point where he even wonders if they would come to his funeral. Even so, he earns his nickname of “The King of the Extras”, as he’s looked up to because of the culture he has cultivated around him, his upbeat personality, and his advice to other talents in his field. However, the only two people that actually know him can’t stand him. Abbie’s mother divorced him, and Abbie himself hasn’t talked to him in years. In the first act, Lisa reveals she didn’t even know Abe was alive because Abbie has refused to acknowledge his existence. It’s only the scare of death that re-opens this door for Abbie. Following his heart attack, he knows he has to do the right thing as Abe’s son. In case anything were to happen, he wants to give his father one last shot. It’s the amusing premise of “What’s the worst that could happen?” and expecting it to happen. Despite Abe’s popularity amongst his people because of his zest for life, we quickly find out why Abbie has avoided him after so much time apart. Abe is embarrassing, he’s obnoxious, and we see firsthand how he treats a fellow extra compared to his own son. This is how impressive Alan King is in his role. He’s still able to pull off his shtick in an amusing way, while showing why he’s such a hit with everyone but his family.

My only problem with the way King’s Abe was written is that they don’t do enough to show why we should fault Abbie for not seeing his father more. If Abe wasn’t told he was dying, who knows how things would’ve turned out, you know? Besides King’s saddened state and his somewhat failure in his career, he doesn’t have enough redeeming qualities other than his ability to charm people at a surface level and being outgoing. Abbie is able to do this without being the ball of annoying energy King is, so I can’t say that this resolution works. The only time you start to feel for King is when he tones it down a bit and gets more real with his son and his situation, but much like the character, he doesn’t want everyone to feel bad for him and reverts back to his usual self, which seems like a mistake. Though he’s got a lot of amusing lines and moments (the faking his death scene was Oscar-worthy material), the best scenes of the movie are actually when King shows off the dramatic talent we never knew he had. Watching him almost break completely before the CT scan as he talks about his father was a powerful moment. It’s the first time where he feels vulnerable and it’s the first time Abbie sees it as well. It’s like he’s facing his own mortality for the first time and starts to panic by talking about things he would never bring up in the company of his son. This is where we realize there’s so much more to Abe, but the closed off character only reveals so much before reverting and it’s frustrating for the audience and Abbie himself.

When Abbie tells Abe the night before the audition, “We’ve known each other for 37 years, and we just met”, you can’t help but watch with saddened eyes. At this point, we come to this realization as well. Because of the way this script missed out on so many key opportunities regarding King’s Abe, we realize this movie is only an hour and forty minutes and we just started to meet his true self towards the end.

Great, now I’m starting to feel like a putz.

Memories of Me has a lot of funny moments, a lot of touching scenes, and Billy Crystal and Alan King are much better than I thought they would be together. The themes and topics at the center of the film are also good enough to center the movie and give it some serious substance. Unfortunately, not everyone was ready for the potentially golden material, and it just misses the mark on being something truly great. Even so, fans of Crystal or King will still enjoy how moving this picture can be at times.

There are also not many movies about the role of an extra, so they got that going for themselves too. If you want to see the grim reality of the difficulties of making it in show business, this could be another wake-up call in that regard as well.