Ishtar (1987)

Starring: Dustin Hoffman, Warren Beatty, Isabelle Adjani, Charles Grodin, and Jack Weston 
Grade: B-

“A lot of acts would kill for a booking in North Africa!” is a quote to live by.

Summary

Chuck Clarke (Hoffman) and Lyle Rogers (Beatty) are songwriters that haven’t made it yet. They also kind of suck.

After working on their most recent song “Dangerous Business”, the always confident Chuck has no problem in saying it’s better than anything Simon and Garfunkel ever did. They just need an agent to make it to the next level. They call Freed Talent Agency to hype up their new song to potentially get a record deal. The phone call leads to Chuck inviting agent Marty Freed (Weston) to The Sound Mart club next Tuesday for open mic night to see them in action. The performance goes pretty badly, and the agent tells them they’re old, white, and don’t have a gimmick worth a shit. He does give them advice to do covers though, so we see them at their next gig doing exactly that. This doesn’t go well either. The audience even looks shocked as to how bad they really are.

Once they leave this club, Chuck and Lyle admit to Freed they’ve been living off of their savings to work on their act but now, they’re broke. Despite knowing how bad they are, Freed does say he can get them a booking. It’s in Honduras, but it’s a booking for money, so that’s something. It’s at the hotel where the American journalists usually stay. There’s an opening because the last act got nervous and left because of the threat of death squads, but there’s “no danger if you don’t drive on the countryside”. They’d be paid 150 lempiras a week which works out to $75 in American, including room and board. Chuck points out that this is going to be split $37.50 each between him and Lyle which equates to basically nothing. Before Freed leaves for his taxi, he offers an alternative of 10 weeks in Morocco at 950 dirham a week which works out to $95 in American, but he can only get them airfare from the Canary Islands. They can’t make the decision there but promise to call Freed in the morning.

Chuck wants to be by himself to think but Lyle follows him into the same bar, so they sit at opposite ends to be alone. Lyle talks with the bartender where we learn they only met each other five months ago. They used to have actual jobs then, but they decided they wanted to team together to become songwriters.

In a flashback, we see Lyle as an ice cream man trying to write corny songs. Willa (Tess Harper), the woman he’s been married to since they were both 17, is clearly uninterested in his dream. At the same time, Chuck is seen playing a gig at a restaurant. He writes and sings a song for an elderly couple celebrating their 53rd wedding anniversary, but the reception to it isn’t very positive because it’s mostly about how close to death they are. Afterwards, his devoted girlfriend Carol (Carol Kane) pours her heart out to him, but he doesn’t seem too focused on their relationship. He’s all about his career. He then reads a written note he received, and it’s from a fellow songwriter who enjoyed his song. It’s Lyle, and Chuck goes over to meet him. They instantly become friends and start working on songs together. Soon after, Willa leaves Lyle, and he’s a wreck because of it. After a night at the bar, we see how horrible Lyle is with women compared to Chuck. Later, Carol breaks up with Chuck because of how little she sees him compared to Lyle. The next morning, he calls Lyle because he’s having a mental breakdown and he’s about to jump out of the window of his apartment. He tells Lyle not to call the police which Lyle agrees to but does anyway. The police beat Lyle there and when they enter the apartment, Chuck moves to the ledge. As Chuck’s parents show up, as does a rabbi, Lyle gets there and goes onto the ledge to talk to Chuck.

Though Chuck admits he isn’t the person he talks himself up to be, Lyle is still able to calm him down and bring him back inside, solidifying their friendship.

Thus, the team of “Rodgers and Clarke” was born.

We jump back to the bar in the present day, and Chuck is inspired. He decides they should go to Freed’s gig, to Lyle’s excitement. Additionally, he chooses the Morocco gig over Honduras because “It’s safer”.

In Ishtar, a fictional neighboring country near the Moroccan border, we see a faction digging things up in the desert. Omar (J.C. Cutler) finds a special map of Ishtar and can read it due to his knowledge of 7th century Kufic. Right away, he shows Professor Barnes (Edgar Smith). Apparently, this map “speaks of a time of upheaval when two messengers will appear in Ishtar and through them, the poor and lonely will rise up, and the mighty will be humbled”. He believes that himself and Barnes are the two messengers because of the eeriness of the situation. Barnes disregards this, pointing out that they found a map that could start a holy war “that would enflame the entire Middle East”. Ishtar is already currently on the brink of a revolution, so this map could make things go haywire. In the background, they can hear some guys approaching, so Barnes has Omar hide the map. Omar drives over to his home and tells his sister Shirra (Adjani) that he’s hidden the map and he’ll meet her soon. Sadly, he’s killed right after the phone call.

Chuck and Lyle land in Ishtar, and Lyle goes to find their Air Canary agent. As we hear over the loudspeaker that there is a curfew and anyone out after dark can be arrested, Chuck is interrupted by Shirra who begs Chuck to help her. If she is recognized, she will be killed but she has to get to Marrakesh, Morrocco today. She needs his passport, jacket, and whatever is in his suitcase in exchange for hers. Despite Chuck and Lyle having to be in Marrakesh by Saturday (the day is Friday), she insists the American Embassy will have a new passport for him in hours. He wants to consult with Lyle first, but she insists no one can know. She then lightly flirts with him and gives him the doe eyes, so he goes through with it. He meets with Lyle afterwards and the two go to the American Embassy, only for them to tell him there’s not a shot in hell they get his passport today, especially in Ishtar since the country is on the brink of civil war. Since they can’t lose this gig, Chuck sends Lyle to go to the show on his own. Next, Chuck gets a hotel and stays in Ishtar to wait things out. A fellow New Yorker in Jim Harrison (Grodin) shows up to greet him since he heard Chuck is the only other American in the hotel. They have dinner.

There, Jim reveals he’s a CIA agent stationed there because the communists are trying to instigate a coup against the Emir and take over Ishtar. He says when an American comes over, the CIA usually asks them to keep their eyes and ears open in case they see something, and they get compensated for it. He also notes how easy it is for random citizens to be duped into getting involved with a left-wing organization fighting a “people’s movement” because of poverty and injustice. Hearing that he’d get $150 a week from the CIA and because he needs the money, Chuck accepts Jim’s offer.

In Morrocco the next evening, Lyle performs some Simon and Garfunkel songs by himself at the gig, and it doesn’t get off to a great start. Thankfully, Chuck shows up just in time to save the day, and they crush it. Unbeknownst to Lyle, Chuck was able to get his passport stuff figured out because of Jim and the CIA. After the performance is over and the people take turns congratulating them, the Caid of Assari Ahmad bin Ali (Fred Melamed) gives Lyle a card for the two to potentially perform at his palace. To end the night, Lyle goes back to his hotel room, and Chuck goes out for a “drive”. As Lyle tries to sleep, he sees a hooded intruder enter the room, so he hides on the ground. It’s Shirra, and he tackles her to the ground, pointing out that she has Chuck’s passport. He fights her for a bit, still thinking she’s a man because of her disguise, and punches her. He takes pity on her though after she talks of poverty, her father being deceased, and how she can’t go to jail. Then, she tells him that Chuck is a CIA agent, the room may be wired, and that Chuck gave her his passport in Ishtar. After he finally realizes Shirra is a woman, she begs him for help in overthrowing the tyrant that is Emir Yousef (Aharon Ipalé). He still doesn’t believe what she said about Chuck though, despite her telling the truth about the suitcase exchange and the fact that she’s wearing Chuck’s jacket.

Even so, she says to say nothing of her visit and that if he does end up believing her, he can go to the camel market in Shali Benimal, find Mohamed, and tell him he wishes to buy a “blind camel”. Mohamed will then contact her.

Meanwhile, Chuck meets with Jim to get his first payment, but he admits he doesn’t like not telling Lyle about it. Eventually, we find out that Jim knows what’s going on between the two because the pen he gave them at their first meeting has a microphone. Even before this, they were on to him ever since he helped Shirra get out of Ishtar. Last night, Shirra arrived in Marrakesh using Chuck’s passport. The CIA knows everything. He tells Chuck that Shirra is a left-wing agent, and her brother Omar was killed three days ago when he “found a map that could destabilize the entire Middle East”. It could cost them Ishtar, and they can’t afford that since Morrocco signed a pact with Muammar Gaddafi. Every intelligence agency that has ties to the Middle East is interested in this map. They believe that Shirra has it and they have to find her before the others do. He knows Chuck doesn’t know where she is, but he says they have reason to believe Lyle is a left-wing agent that does because she was spotted leaving Lyle’s hotel room. The CIA believes they had a sexual encounter. Chuck doesn’t buy it based off how he knows both people and wants more evidence, asking why they didn’t bug the room. Jim says they couldn’t and then asks who booked their hotel. It was Freed, so Jim makes a note of it. Now, Chuck is beginning to have second thoughts about this whole thing and offers the money back to Jim, but Jim tells him to think about it. He then gives him a beeper to use if he decides to change his mind.

The misunderstandings will continue to happen because these two best friends think they’re on opposite sides of this civil war in Northern Africa they have now become entrenched in. Little do they know, both sides are using them for their own gain.

My Thoughts:

Many consider Ishtar to be among the worst movies ever made. I couldn’t disagree more. It’s actually not bad. It’s not great either, but I wouldn’t consider it a bad film in the slightest. It’s a funny premise and a great sendup of the famous Road to … films starring Bing Crosby and Bob Hope, as was the goal. It’s amusing in a lot of ways and exploring the desert with two bumbling lounge singers played by superstars in Dustin Hoffman and Warren Beatty make it an adventure we’re interested in name value alone.

The comedy starts with how bad their music making skills are and how oblivious they are to it. To “Rogers and Clarke”, anything is a good idea. No matter how simple or corny the lyrics are, we see how driven the two are to make the song work, and they will sing their hearts out in hopes of anything clicking. Together, they make a great team of talentless losers, with Lyle getting a melody down that sounds like a commercial jingle and Chuck coming in at just the right time with the cheesy lyrics and the rhythm in which to say it. One ongoing joke is Chuck always asking for a pencil to write an idea down and based off of how we know the characters, it does work. It even happens when the two are in the Sahara Desert, almost dying of dehydration and exhaustion. It’s funny, but it also shows their dedication to being unknowingly mediocre (which is still funny to me). Can you believe these two hold the fate of the Middle East in their hands?

Now, as much as I like both actors, this stood out as the biggest issue. It wasn’t Dustin Hoffman’s fault though. Hoffman played his role very well. Him believing in their act with unbridled confidence, as well as going from woman to woman fits the energy Hoffman brings as Chuck Clarke. I thought Hoffman was very good in many ways, especially when he talks himself up to anyone that will listen. We see how he practically has a sales pitch to Lyle when they first start becoming friends. His explanation of his nickname of “The Hawk” was chuckle worthy and a great way to show how Chuck sells himself not only to others, but to build his own confidence. His low-key sensitivity regarding his ego was also a nice touch. When he got so offended that Shirra picked Lyle over him to join her side first, the scene was arguably one of the funniest of the movie.

Pairing him with an idiot character that believes in Chuck as much as he does could work if paired with the right person. With that being said, Warren Beatty was not that person. The miscast Beatty couldn’t play Chuck because he can’t play desperate nearly as good as Hoffman does, but he can’t play stupid that well either. Lyle is supposed to be the moronic one of the two, but it doesn’t flow. I understand the allure of wanting Beatty to go against type to make Ishtar different, but it noticeably didn’t work. He either needed to take his performance and multiply the goofiness of it twice over, played it like a normal person that is more self-aware (the number one option), or played another character entirely. Honestly, he could’ve played Charles Grodin’s role as Jim Harrison much better than he did Lyle. This is where the problems started with the film, but it’s too big of a mistake to fix because he was such a big part of making the film happen. As much star power as these two have, this team didn’t fit the goofy, over-the-top nature of the material. It needed to be crazier. The madness needed to be there. The ideas and situations were calling for it, but the script didn’t match what they needed to do to make Ishtar the comedy it had potential being. It’s either that or there needed to be two different leads in general.

I don’t know if a Hoffman/Beatty duo were the correct ones to make this material work as is. Going along with this point, I couldn’t help but think of how awesome Dan Aykroyd and Chevy Chase would’ve been in the lead roles. Ishtar should’ve just been a sequel to Spies Like Us, a film that did the Road to … parody the right way.

Could you imagine Aykroyd mumbling gibberish to a bunch of native Arabs to help translate for a bunch illegal arms dealers? I know I can.

The auctioneer scene was a perfect example of how funny this movie could’ve been through and through. Scenes like that would’ve made this thing work. It was still a decent movie, but it could’ve been one of the year’s best had the script been consistent to scenes like this.

There’s also the flashback sequence. It’s placement in the movie stalled all of the film’s momentum that it gained early in the opening minutes. You could’ve easily begun the film with what happened in the flashback and hit us with a “5 Months Later” caption to transition directly into the opening we got, but they put it right in the middle of the first act. It went on way too long, dragging the pace down. They needed to get to the story right away. Also, I’m not going to say the flashback was boring because it did explain a lot about our characters’ personalities, but it wasn’t as entertaining or as interesting as it should’ve been for such an important point in the movie. They should’ve just referred to stuff that happened here when asked to describe their friendship when meeting new characters and just got rid of the flashback sequence entirely. Then, give this time to the third act because the scene they consider the “climax” was not the payoff the movie needed. There needed to be more action. It needed to end in the palace with the attempted coup and all the characters and groups crossing paths in a shootout with a Scooby-Doo-like chase sequence. The scene we are left with would be decent for the middle of the movie but not the end. It’s not the big, satisfying finale this movie needed, considering the implications of a civil war story-wise and the bloated budget they were working with in real-life.

On a positive note, I’ll give Charles Grodin credit for not being as annoying as he usually is.

Look, I understand it’s a bit disappointing considering the promotion, the budget, and the stars. It should’ve been better, and it should’ve been funnier. I can’t deny that, especially in terms of comedy, with some jokes not landing, some scenes being underwritten, and some of the humor relying on the scenario rather than mixing it with some solid jokes. Even then, it was not devoid of laughs. It’s amusing in a lot of ways, it’s creative, and it’s a nice adventure film. The goofiness that does exist in the film is very fun to watch onscreen. We just can’t deny that the film as a whole is a bit of a missed opportunity. It had all the elements to make something special, but instead churned out something decent. Not the worst thing to do in the world, but it’s not what we wanted.

With that being said, considering the massive amount of unnecessary hate Ishtar gets, I’m still labeling it as underrated. Thankfully, time has been kinder to the film, with a lot of retrospective reviews giving it the credit it deserves. It’s a lot better than people remember it being.

If you didn’t know, most of the negative press comes from the production issues rather than the actual movie and that’s not fair. I’m not here to review how production went. I’m here to review a movie, and this movie is decent.