Snoopy’s Getting Married, Charlie Brown (1985)

Starring: Brett Johnson
Grade: D+

“This is going to be some wedding. Half the guests are going to eat off paper plates, and the other half out of dog dishes”.

Fair point Lucy.

Summary

Since her dad is going out of town again, Peppermint Patty (Gini Holtzman) calls Charlie Brown (Johnson) to ask him if Snoopy (Bill Melendez) can be her watch dog temporarily. Since Snoopy isn’t doing anything, as we see him laughing while reading his favorite book about the “Bunny Wunnies”, Charlie Brown agrees to send him right over. After hanging up, he tells Snoopy about how Peppermint Patty wants him to be her watchdog, a job he is down to do. Before he leaves however, Charlie Brown knows he needs a weapon first. He needs the most “dangerous weapon ever devised by man”. Since the FCC probably wouldn’t accept Charlie Brown pulling out an AR-15 or a .44 magnum, he instead grabs a hockey stick from the closet for Snoopy to use.

At night, Snoopy ventures over to Peppermint Patty’s place and stomps on the door. Already tired but appreciative of the help, Peppermint Patty thanks Snoopy because she hates staying home alone. However, she is perplexed with Snoopy’s hockey stick and isn’t convinced he can guard a house with one, though he is able to show her otherwise by showing off his attack moves with it. Before she goes inside to go to bed, she tells Snoopy that his job is to patrol the grounds outside. If he sees anyone suspicious, he is to bark. If he can’t bark, he is told to scream a lot. Peppermint Patty is able to happily go to bed knowing she has a watchdog who is “rough and tough”. As she says this, we cut to Snoopy happily crocheting on the front porch. Just then, the noises of an owl are heard and Snoopy gets scared. Next, the owl flies by and Snoopy drops the hockey stick, runs, and jumps to the ground. Getting back up, he surveys the grounds and goes for a walk to investigate. At first, he walks out with intent and seriousness. Unfortunately, after his eyeline makes eye contact with a pair of eyes in the bushes, he screams in terror and wakes up Peppermint Patty. She goes to the window of her bedroom only to see Snoopy running away in the distance. Following this, an agitated Peppermint Patty calls Charlie Brown to ask where Snoopy is since he ran off from the one fucking job he had. Being that this is in the middle of the night, the tired Charlie Brown dozes off while standing after answering the phone. After Peppermint Patty wakes him up with more yelling, she demands he come over to replace Snoopy as watchdog because Snoopy was his responsibility. An exhausted Charlie Brown just responds, “Woof”.

Later that night, Charlie Brown walks over to Peppermint Patty’s house, who is already angry over the amount of time it took for him to get there because she could have been robbed “twenty times by now”. Since she doesn’t know where Snoopy is, she once again tells Charlie Brown he is to be her watchdog. With this, she presents to him a dog collar. He agrees to being a watchdog and to sit on her porch, but he refuses the collar, which she’s fine with. She offers to get him something before she goes to sleep, so he does bring up that he’s a little hungry. Peppermint Patty goes inside to get something, as Charlie Brown sits on the porch and starts to contemplate how in the blue hell he found himself in such a weird scenario. Just then, Peppermint Patty comes back to the porch and gives him a dog bone. After holding it in his mouth for a moment, he puts it down and talks about how he can’t believe it. Next, he howls to the moon before shouting succeeding statements to the sky:

“1 O’CLOCK AND ALL IS WELL! ACTUALLY, ALL IS NOT WELL! WHAT AM I DOING OUT HERE? AT 1 O’CLOCK IN THE MORNING! I’M NOT A WATCHDOG! WHAT AM I DOING HERE? WHAT HAPPENED TO THE REAL WATCHDOG! WHAT IS THE PURPOSE OF LIFE!”

The next morning, a sleepy-eyed Charlie Brown wakes up hunched over on the porch, and a smiling Snoopy approaches while holding a letter. He gives it to Charlie Brown when he asks where he went. It’s a letter to Snoopy’s brother Spike (Melendez), and he wants Charlie Brown to mail it right away. Intrigued, Charlie Brown reads the letter aloud. Snoopy talks about how the most wonderful thing has happened. Last night when he was guarding the house, he heard an eerie sound and saw these two large eyes. At first, he was scared, but then he saw this “beautiful creature”, a poodle named Genevieve that he has fallen in love with overnight. Now, they’re getting married! As Charlie Brown freaks out over the news, Linus (Jeremy Schoenberg), Sally (Fergie), and Woodstock (Melendez) appear and ask what’s going on. Once he tells them, the kids are shocked, and Woodstock is pissed. Charlie Brown wonders if Snoopy understands the responsibility of getting married, but Snoopy gives him the “o-k” hand gesture. Sally wonders if he can support a wife if he sleeps all the time. For this, Snoopy just waves to her. Linus wonders where they will live and thinks they may move away to live in another town, and this causes Woodstock to cry as Charlie Brown freaks out even more. Once Linus brings up the other option of them all moving in with Charlie Brown, Sally starts to cry. Later, Charlie Brown mails the letter to Spike but still wonders how Snoopy plans on supporting a wife and family, shuttering at the thought of them all moving in with him. Over in Needles, California, the letter is delivered to Spike in his gigantic cactus house, and he’s elated to get the news of Snoopy’s wedding.

Sometime after, Snoopy gives Charlie Brown another letter to send to Spike. This one details Snoopy’s first date with Genevieve. They went for a moonlight canoe ride and then to the movies. Apparently, she thinks Citizen Kane is the best movie ever too, though this is probably because Tommy Boy came out a decade later and she hadn’t seen it yet. Regardless, they also had dinner at a French restaurant. To conclude the letter, Snoopy’s details how all his life he has felt unsettled, sort of “up in the air”, but not anymore. He wants Spike to come to the wedding to be his “Best Beagle”. In Needles, Spike writes back to Snoopy about how he’s honored to be his “Best Beagle”, but he has to see if he can earn enough money to make the long trip. In a rather audacious request, Spike suggests Charlie Brown send him money for bus fare. In the meantime, Spike goes from place to place looking for a temporary job. After seeing a “Help Wanted” sign at Bill’s Butcher Shop, he goes in only to be immediately kicked out. That night, he sees a dog racing contest being advertised, with first prize being $100. He enters as a contestant against a bunch of other legitimate racing greyhounds, and they all wait in their cages ready to go. One of the workers gives Spike a flag for his number and a muzzle, but his skinny body won’t let him keep the flag on. He puts the muzzle on for a second but takes it off right after and just gets ready. Finally, the race begins, and Spike is slow out of the gate before catching up to the rest of the dogs, though this is possibly because he’s the only dog running on two feet. Regardless, they all chase the toy rabbit on the side of the wall since it’s the motivation for the animals. Spike sees the mechanical toy and jumps onto it. Sadly, his grip isn’t tight enough and he falls off and hits the ground. The other dogs pass him up for a moment, but Spike is able to get right back up and get to the front again. Finally, he’s able to latch onto the rabbit and pull it off for the win.

He gives the rabbit to the cashier for his prize money. Unfortunately, they disqualify him for being a beagle and kick him out.

Regardless, he sends a letter back to Snoopy to say that he’s on his way, as he’s earned some money, and he thinks he can make it. He does admit that this last job almost killed him, adding that he didn’t think working could be so hard or so dangerous, but he will persevere to meet Snoopy on his big day.

Now, it’s time to plan a dog wedding!

My Thoughts:

In this Snoopy-centric special, the Peanuts gang tackles the subject of marriage to somewhat middling results. The idea is TV special worthy, but the ridiculousness of the situation isn’t fully leaned into, and too much fluff stops Snoopy’s Getting Married, Charlie Brown from achieving more. Because of this, the humor and the replay value suffers. Though it’s unfair to compare Snoopy’s Getting Married, Charlie Brown to other Peanuts classics like their holiday specials, there’s no reason as to why a special like this isn’t a television staple around wedding season. Unfortunately, it’s too scattered to focus on the golden idea in front of them, relying too heavily on scenes that don’t matter and don’t really help.

Snoopy’s Getting Married, Charlie Brown is made up of three dense puzzle pieces. It’s the opening stretch involving Peppermint Patty, it’s the slow-paced journey of Spike, and then the actual stuff involving the wedding and everything it encompasses. Without a doubt, the special does the wedding stuff right, though it’s a bit too simple for my liking. Considering their target demographic though, they do a good job in showing all the stages of setting up a wedding and a developing relationship going into marriage within a rapid period of time. One day, Snoopy finds the love of his life, and the next day, he’s already sending out invitations. It may seem strange, but it’s possible that in dog years, this is looked at as a two-year process considering their lifespan. Even so, instead of seeing this red flag and telling his dog that he shouldn’t be jumping into such a big decision overnight, Charlie Brown is supportive. He is more just wondering aloud to anyone who will listen if Snoopy understands the responsibility of marriage and supporting a wife and potential family. Knowing Snoopy, he probably didn’t think it through. Charlie Brown isn’t adversarial though. If anything, he’s encouraging and does his best to make sure that Snoopy goes through with everything. Had it not been for Charlie Brown’s insistence minutes before the ceremony (“Once the ring bearer is selected, you are committed!”), Snoopy would have bailed before Genevieve did. I did see Charlie Brown’s interactions with Snoopy as more of a missed opportunity though. Charlie Brown and Linus seeing the obvious red flags in a marriage that developed seemingly out of the blue and trying their hands at talking sense into Snoopy to make sure he realizes what he’s doing, would have made for a more compelling narrative. At the same time, it would still align with the Peanuts franchise’s respected tendency to go much deeper into psychology without getting preachy, maintaining its childlike innocence while also being surprisingly sophisticated for the age group (at least at times).

Especially in hindsight, this should have been the direction they took the story to add some depth to it, while strengthening the wedding premise and the fears and insecurities surrounding the concept. There could have been a divide between Charlie Brown and Snoopy where Charlie Brown is being a bit too aggressive in his approach because of how much he tries to talk sense into his pal, and Snoopy refusing to listen to him as he’s head-over-heels in love. Considering all the stories surrounding family drama going into long-term relationships and weddings and such, this would have been a very relatable story direction. Then, Linus could be the middleman who not only works to mend the fence going into the big day, but his usual role as the “voice of reason” would have been perfect for a special like this. Had Linus had Snoopy’s ear, playing the more sympathetic approach and being a more reasonable voice that sees both sides of the equation, Snoopy can internalize his words of advice with just a look or a glance. In doing so, it could lead to a signifying moment of Snoopy coming to the disastrous realization that, like Charlie Brown says going into the bachelor party, this is his “Last fling as a single dog”. With this, you have a more practical and sensible reasoning as to why Snoopy starts to crack going into the climax because he realizes he made a mistake. Then, the finish could still be somewhat the same but also include a reconciliation between dog and owner amidst the chaos. Though I still enjoyed a good portion of the chronicles going into the wedding that we do see like the root beer flowing bachelor party where Schroeder makes Snoopy cry during his speech since it’s “The end of youth and innocence”, the concept as a whole is not capitalized on fully, and that is what’s disappointing.

Nevertheless, the real problems come with the other pieces to the puzzle, as previously mentioned. Spike is a welcomed character to bring into the fold, and it was the right move to give him screen time to establish him to the viewer. Even so, all of his segments were slow, bland, and uneventful. Besides being poor and skinny, he doesn’t do enough to win us over or have the viewer care about his side quest in the midst of Snoopy’s life-defining decision. Spike isn’t all that funny, he doesn’t look like he gives a shit once he gets to see his brother after presumably years, and by the time it’s all said and done, he goes back to his cactus home in a whimper and just eats cake by himself. It’s an epilogue that falls flat on its face as you ask, “That’s it?”. Now, I adored the ending of a somber Snoopy eating the salad and cake on top of his doghouse with Woodstock until he feels better, as the smile that starts to unveil itself when he takes a few bites with his best friend is undoubtedly cute, but Spike just meandering home felt like nothing. Honestly, he just comes off as ungrateful to the whole experience, and we’re not really clamoring to see him. In private, Charlie Brown talks to Spike about how he appreciates his appearance because it’s made Snoopy very happy, but he looks as if he could care fucking less! On top of that, he’s seen yawning during Schroeder’s speech at the bachelor party and sat there with a plain-faced expression even at the ceremony, and it’s like motherfucker, are you busy or something? He doesn’t offer much to the entertainment value of the special outside of being the “Best Beagle”. Spike’s inclusion makes sense, and it’s a great idea to add to Snoopy’s backstory because seeing the two together helps develop Snoopy even more as a personality, as the viewer starts to see how different the two brothers are when they are standing side by side.

It’s vital to do this for characters who can’t talk. When you consider this value, the decision is a logical one to progress the character, one who’s role has increased considerably in the Peanuts series over the years. Actually, it would have been nice to have more of it, but they barely scratch the surface of what could have been done, especially when Spike finally makes his long-anticipated arrival midway through the special. Unfortunately, the humor of it is botched, with Spike being dumped out of the back of To Go Garbage Co.’s garbage truck along with some other trash. For some reason, he’s unconscious, and Snoopy feverishly shakes his hand. This should be treated as a big moment within Peanuts lore, but it’s extremely underwhelming. The two never see each other anymore, they live in completely different areas, and it was already a long shot if Spike were to somehow gather enough money to even make it there! Against all odds, he does, but when he finally arrives, he’s unconscious because of presumed exhaustion and Snoopy just shakes his hand? That’s what they came up with? They should be more excited than that! Snoopy should be practically lifting Spike into the air because of how happy he is to see him! Spike should show some personality or energy too, even if he is tired! We know Spike is a droopy-eyed character with a low-key style, but that doesn’t mean he’s devoid of emotion entirely! It’s just out of character for both of them, it’s illogical considering their relationship, and an all-around lackluster scene for what should be a huge moment for everyone involved.

The biggest question coming out of Snoopy’s Getting Married, Charlie Brown was if they should have gone down a route similar to the comic strip story it was based on from 1977, The Beagle Has Landed. In the original strip, Snoopy’s bride is never seen, and it concludes with her leaving Snoopy for Spike. They allude to it here when Spike meets Geneieve and kisses her hand and she loves it, which is why I was expecting that conclusion when it came to the ceremony climax. They don’t go down this avenue however, but it’s an interesting development to consider. First of all, it would have given the aimless Spike something of note to do other than just showing up, and you could still have the same third act where Snoopy realizes he isn’t ready for marriage, only for Lucy to relay the news to him and Charlie Brown that Genevieve ran off with Spike instead of some random golden retriever that we don’t see. It’s possible that they may have been worried if fans would get mad at Snoopy’s brother for pulling such a stunt on his big day, but they wrote it well enough that Snoopy could look at the situation positively, as if Spike did him a favor once he saw Snoopy’s trepidations going into the ceremony and took note of it. The ending could have been the same result had they gone down this path, Spike would have done something memorable other than being known for the dog who wears a fedora, and it could have resulted in a much more satisfying payoff as a result. If they were to integrate this comic strip more into the special however, the bride would still need to be seen. If anything, Genevieve wasn’t shown enough in this special. Obviously, we don’t need to be attached to her since we know this marriage isn’t going to happen, but she needs to have more of a presence within the program.

Also, don’t get mad at this point either. This isn’t a spoiler. You know they aren’t going to marry off Snoopy because it would change the franchise for good, so calm down.

Anyway, Genevieve’s overall presence could have tilted the story into a more amusing direction had we seen her in a few more scenes ingratiating herself with Snoopy’s friends. Her befriending an initially reluctant Woodstock could have given us a fun moment. Better yet, what if there was scene where she hangs with the female characters and during an open discussion, we see doubt creep into her mind too. Basically, knowing more about her personality would have improved the story a lot. Considering she is yet another silent character, there needs to be some time dedicated to giving us a little insight into who she is. The only details we know of her is what Snoopy said in that letter. Why was she hiding in the bushes in the first place? Is she a stray? She’s a poodle, so there’s no way, right? Who is her owner? Is there a new kid in the neighborhood? To do this or just explain a little more about her to make us believe in this almost-wedding, those other two aforementioned puzzle pieces desperately needed to be re-worked. Since those two sections were substandard to begin with, it would have only helped the production as a whole had more care been given to the new characters. The “watchdog” sequence went on far too long and wasn’t amusing enough to warrant its length, and the aforementioned Spike sequences made everything tread water until the bachelor party scene. Had they got to the marriage storyline as quickly as possible, the whole special could have been about the hijinks surrounding a wedding thrown together by kids for dogs. The fun involved in this concept alone has a myriad of funny possibilities and compelling angles to take the characters within the drama of the premise. Wasting time on all that other bullshit ruined what could have been another legacy-strengthening program that we look back on fondly.

I didn’t catch it at first, but I liked how Charlie Brown couldn’t pronounce all the French-related stuff in Snoopy’s letter to Spike and even refers to Genevieve as “Jean-Vieve”.

Along with the bachelor party sequence where Snoopy realizes he fucked up and the funny idea of holding the reception somehow in the “downstairs” of Snoopy’s doghouse, I like how Charlie Brown and Snoopy are fixated on the wedding suit needing a top hat (Charlie Brown even forces Spike to take off his fedora for one), and Snoopy really loving his walking cane. That was a nice touch. All they needed after that was a monocle. I did think it was kind of weird when Snoopy was trying on clothes, and for some reason, the third suit he is given is a literal bear costume. Why the fuck would this store even have that? On top of this, another big highlight was Charlie Brown literally dragging an anxiety-riddled Snoopy to his own wedding after he expresses his feelings just by shaking his head (“What do you mean you can’t go through with it? What do you mean you’re too young?”) with Charlie Brown saying the ironic statement of, “This will be the happiest day of your life!” as he physically drags him. Then, there’s Sally’s surprisingly good singing of a love song with dog-related lyrics accompanied by Schroeder’s piano playing, and all the kids starting to become aware of Snoopy’s obvious anxiety as he shakes uncontrollably waiting for Genevieve’s arrival, especially with the ready-to-officiate Linus staring directly at him. I loved the subsequent shot of all the kids looking at each other in confusion, especially because the average animation makes it look like Pig-Pen is looking at the wedding cake at first rather than the other kids. To save face, I did like how Snoopy stepped up in the end and tried his best to be a man by sucking up his tears. Even though it wasn’t meant to be, and he was saved, it was a strong and low-key moment to show that Snoopy does have some integrity and a sense of responsibility when it comes down to it. Maybe I’m giving him too much credit, but those final moments really won me over. It was a very mature thing to do for a relatively immature character, and I respect that.

I also like that they strengthened the bond between the owner and his dog, with Charlie Brown being the only person there who cared about how Snoopy was doing after he heard the wedding was off and fainted.

Is there some sort of inside joke about Needles, California that I’m missing? They mention it like three times and make it this big deal to explain the trek Spike went through, but it’s just such a random place geographically to continuously talk about that I’m starting to think there’s some sort of significance to it. I get that the Schulz family lived there for two years back in the day, but there isn’t a payoff to this joke, so it just seems random. Going along with this, is it really a tradition for the groom to drink beer out of the bride’s slipper? These kids are doing shoeys in preparation for a wedding? That’s awesome, as well as the metaphor of the root beer pouring directly onto Snoopy’s head when they attempt it. At that point, we know he’s doomed.

I had higher expectations with Snoopy’s Getting Married, Charlie Brown, as there was a lot of potential to make it a special worth talking about for years to come. Besides the actual wedding stuff that was solid but not as great as it could be, the other 2/3 of the program don’t mix in well with the wedding premise, giving us an uneven program. As a result, the overall production turns into a plodding and disappointing one that is only mildly entertaining instead of something truly worth watching.