The Audition (2015)

Starring: Leonardo DiCaprio, Robert De Niro, Martin Scorsese, and Brad Pitt
Grade: F

I can’t think of a single redeeming factor this short film has provided us.

Summary

At the City of Dreams Resort in Manila, Philippines, Robert De Niro pulls up. He’s already reading a new Martin Scorsese-produced script aloud because he’s in the running for a part in his new film. At the same time, Leonardo DiCaprio pulls up to the resort doing the same, as he wants the same part. They’re both meeting with Scorsese to discuss the same role. They greet each other, though they both hide their scripts behind their backs, so they can deny the real reason why they’re there. DiCaprio told De Niro he was going to be in Miami while De Niro told DiCaprio he was going to be in Iceland. Finally, they show each other they’ve been reading the same script. Scorsese shows up to greet them, so DiCaprio assumes all three of them are working on a project together for the first time. In actuality, they’re competing for the same role, though Scorsese calls it “vying” because he’s got a few ideas floating around. Even so, he tells them he wants to experience Manila a little bit because the picture he’s making will start there. Then, they’ll go to Macau and finish in Japan. Because of this, Scorsese has a private plane waiting for them. First, they’ll get something to eat. Second, they’ll drive to the airport and go to Macau.

In Macau, they go to Studio City. Scorsese continues to explain the idea he has for the role to DiCaprio and De Niro. He talks about how the character is smooth but also a risk taker, saying he would be just as comfortable negotiating a takeover as he would playing high-stakes blackjack. DiCaprio says he’s a great blackjack player, so De Niro makes fun of him. Scorsese points out that it’s a bit awkward because the two are going up against each other, but DiCaprio insists there’s no beef between them because De Niro got him started in the business. De Niro agrees with things being cool and just hopes that whoever gets the role is the right person. Scorsese tells them they’ll audition tomorrow and goes to line up shots with his cinematographer Rodrigo Prieto.

Once Scorsese leaves, the battle lines are drawn. DiCaprio and De Niro make it known to each other that they will go the extra mile to get this part.

My Thoughts:

For being a $70 million short film with one of the greatest directors in the history of cinema, and a cast of the some of the biggest names in Hollywood history, The Audition is fucking awful.

$70 million? How?! Was it just for their combined salaries?

To keep things in perspective, the budget for Shutter Island was $80 million!

The Audition is set up to basically be one large commercial, promoting Studio City in Macau, a hotel casino resort. For someone who prides themselves on art and how important film is, it’s actually quite surprising that Scorsese would sell out to make a short film this useless and uninspiring with this amazing of a cast. They must have been paid handsomely for this 15-minute, passive aggressive conversational humor extravaganza. The copyrighted music included must have only made the thing cost more. The story just doesn’t go anywhere, and the elements of “entertainment” are as basic as it gets, which is incredibly disappointing considering everyone involved. Then, you get that weird moment where Scorsese says they’re going to Japan, and he stares directly into the camera for some reason. What the hell was that about? What’s even more outrageous is that even though this was supposed to be about Studio City, the casino wasn’t even built during the short’s production! As a result, we get these gaudy, CGI/3D rendered landscapes that look ATROCIOUS. I guess it was slightly “humorous” to see Brad Pitt bomb his reading of the fake script, but was it worth tuning into The Audition just to see this cast together? Was it funny to hear Leonardo DiCaprio and Robert De Niro argue over the details of getting a seaweed wrap at a spa?

Not in the slightest.

I actually feel insulted that I was goaded into watching The Audition because of the talent involved. Scorsese owes us big for watching this colossal waste of time. If this is the only production that we get to see Brad Pitt act with DiCaprio and De Niro in a Scorsese-helmed project, this may go down as one of the most infuriating short films to ever exist.