Protocol (1984)

Starring: Goldie Hawn
Grade: A-

“It’s hard to believe what so-called professionals will do sometimes”.

Though she doesn’t realize it when she says it, Goldie Hawn will find out how shady the government can actually be.

Summary

Through the opening credits, we see Sunny Davis (Hawn) in the midst of car troubles in the middle of a street, with a cavalcade of cops having to help her. This is because she’s stopping traffic for an important political figure trying to be escorted somewhere. She’s towed home and quickly tries to get ready for work because she’s already late.

She rents a room in the home of gay couple Ben (Joel Brooks) and Jerry (Grainger Hines), but they enjoy her company.

She turns on the TV, and we hear there’s a special banquet planned for the Emir Khaled Abin Abdul Majid (Richard Romanus) of Middle Eastern country Otah. If things go well, experts predict that the U.S. will build a military base on the “remote, but strategically located” country. She goes to work at Lou’s Safari Club as a cocktail waitress. It’s an animal-themed bar. Since she’s late, she’s stuck wearing the emu costume all the women hate instead of the more favorable, normal-looking costumes. Lou (Kenneth Mars) tries to get her to work late since she was late to begin the shift, but Sunny keeps saying she has a date that night that she’s super excited about. Her co-worker offers her a chance to chill with some of the rich guys she hangs out with to make a little extra money, but Sunny says she’s fine. Sadly, her date cancels that night, and he has a history of doing so.

At the banquet, we hear more from the media people about how the President will be there, along with the Emir, and how important this night will be to establishing a major American military presence in Otah. Outside of the event, Sunny happily walks by the crowd of onlookers and is bugged by some guy trying to get to the front. She jokingly asks if he has a gun, but it turns out he does. He tries to shoot the Emir as he comes down the steps, so Sunny attacks him, forcing the guy to miss. The Emir is rushed to safety. Though after a scuffle in the crowd with everyone else, Sunny is shot and taken to a hospital, and the news outlets go crazy with the story.

At home, Ben and Jerry see it on television as soon as that night. In the hospital, Sunny is saved. Thankfully, she was only shot in the ass. Soon after, the media storm regarding the situation is enormous. Thousands of flowers are sent to Sunny’s hospital room, fan mail and marriage proposals are sent, and numerous people try to get into her room to see her, most of whom she doesn’t know. In her room to help her out is Ben, Jerry, and her friend Donna (Maria O’Brien). Middle East Desk Chief at the State Department Mike Ransome (Chris Sarandon) shows up to prep her for her press conference, and Sunny is happy to find out that the man is currently single. There, he gives her a lot of intricate details regarding Otah and how strategically placed it is, in the middle of two rival nations. Elsewhere, a politician named John Hilley (Cliff DeYoung) watches the press conference with interest. At the press conference, Sunny makes an honest opening statement with some jokes and the crowd loves her. Hilley watches and sees how much of a natural she is. After she starts giving these sincere answers about her life and the situation, Hilley and fellow career politician Pat Hassler (Ed Begley Jr.) see how the crowd is eating out of the palm of her hand, prompting Hilley to call the President directly to get in touch with Sunny. Towards the end of the press conference, Mike gives Sunny the phone in front of everyone, and it’s the President himself!

Sunny becomes a celebrity and she’s on everything, including a Middle Eastern magazine the Emir reads himself in his car ride. Privately, there’s a phone call between the Emir and Hilley about Sunny. Hilley tells Hassler, Mike, and Marietta, but Mike is the only one not keen on the idea. The group decides to go through with this unknown plan without the President’s knowledge. On the other hand, they do decide to get Vice President Merck (James Staley) involved to help talk her into this, mostly because he has nothing important going on at the moment. Back at home in Oregon, there’s a parade for Sunny and Merck. After it gets rained out (and they’re all in convertibles), they go back to Sunny’s parents’ home to hangout. Following Sunny and Mike talking and Mike seeing Sunny’s innocence firsthand, they all have dinner with the family and Merck. This is where her dad tries his best to bring up small inventions he’s proud of like a combined dish of asparagus and rhubarb, as well as an electric toilet. Later, Merck asks the aimless Sunny if she wants to work in the government for them and work as a special assistant for Ambassador St. John (Gail Strickland). She’s the head of the Protocol Department of the government. Excited, Sunny quickly looks up the dictionary definition: the customs and regulations dealing with ceremonies and etiquette of the diplomatic corps. She happily accepts the job, though knowing nothing of what it entails.

…But hey, she’s making salary!

In Otah, the Emir is happy to get a message from an American official that basically says things are going according to plan. Meanwhile, Sunny gets studying materials for her job and is flown back to D.C.

Quickly after, she meets the Deputy Chief of Protocol Earl Crowe (Keith Szarabajka). Earl takes her to meet St. John, and she excitingly shows Kay to her desk and such. She also tells Kay that a limo will pick her up that night and to wear something pretty. The event is at the embassy of Otah. After meeting Hilley and Hassler who butter her up with compliments from the President and how they know Sunny will be to down to do whatever for her country, Earl takes her to meet the Belgian Ambassador (Roger Til) and his wife. The conversation is quickly interrupted by two Middle Eastern soldiers that take her to a special room upstairs. There, St. John tells her she will meet the Emir’s Chief Temporal Advisor Nawaf Al Kabeer (André Gregory). He is said to have transcendent spiritual power and can see straight into one’s thoughts. Kabeer tells Sunny she is now a part of the history of Otah and how the Emir remembers her in his prayers. He just wants Sunny to accept the Emir’s gift: a brand-new Rolls Royce. The media is there to talk to her and though St. John tries to answer for her, Sunny makes her own speech. She thanks the Emir, Kabeer and the people of Otah, but shocks the crowd to say as a government employee, she will have to “transfer the ownership of the car to the General Services Administration and include it in a list of foreign gifts to a government official in the monthly protocol report, in accordance with federal registry order 327”. Mike starts clapping for her because he’s the only one who’s happy she did her homework.

On the news, it’s announced that the Rolls Royce will be sent to a federal repository where it will be placed under the supervision of the Secretary of Transportation who announced he would “take charge of the $119,000 car personally”.

Unbeknownst to Sunny, this was a gift that was leading to a proposal of marriage from the Emir, and he flips out when he hears she turned it down. Hilley, Hassler, Earl, and St. John are also flipping out on each other because their plan to use Sunny isn’t working. She’s not as stupid as they thought she was. They have to come up with a new plan to get her to marry the Emir and will keep her busy in the meantime with tasks related to her job.

My Thoughts:

In 1984, Goldie Hawn starred in both the 1940s romance drama Swing Shift and government comedy Protocol. Though Swing Shift got the better reviews, I’m with the popular audiences on this one. I enjoyed Protocol much more, mostly because it starred Hawn in the fun-loving persona she’s known for.

If it ain’t broke, don’t fix it.

Goldie plays the aptly named Sunny, an innocent young woman who isn’t necessarily joyous about her place in life but is content and happy with her choices. She has a very positive outlook, and she captures the heart of mostly everyone she meets. Despite her goofs and carelessness at times, Sunny’s attitude is always endearing, and her personality is infectious. Her instinct to stop an assassination attempt may seem crazy but when you see it context, it’s not out of character for someone like Sunny to react in the manner she did. She’s a good person and will look to do what she considers is right. In a crowd full of followers, she doesn’t mind standing out and being a leader. When you look at it from this perspective, she’s a much better choice for the job she carries in government than you’d initially think. The signs were there from the beginning. On the surface, she’s underestimated though. This much is clear. She’s pretty, goofy, and is an easygoing person. Because of her good-natured persona to the public and her honesty, she captures a following as soon as she steps into that press conference. A lot of people can tell when someone is being genuine compared to someone who is acting genuine for the public. It’s a quality not everyone has, so when it’s there, you want to attach yourself to it. She even gifts them the golden line of how she isn’t a Republican or a Democrat, but an “American”. Once everyone in the room around Hilley and Hassler start clapping back in Washington, they see that everyone is eating it up, and they have to take advantage.

Not once do they buy into her actual personality and think she can do something for the good of the people. It’s all about how they can use her for their gain and the next election. From the start, they see how she can help cover all demographics in terms of voting and have to act on it immediately.

Sadly, this is how things work in any level of politics, whether it be in government or any job situation in general.

This is why it makes sense for Hilley, Hassler, St. John, and Earl to see the potential in someone like Sunny to make everything work in the eyes of the public. If the people trust and love her, it will rub off on whatever political regime has her on their side. Her bubbly personality is perfect for it, so who better to play this character than Goldie Hawn? As us fans know, she became famous for being the “dumb blonde” archetype and one of the lines that sets up the rest of the movie is the conversation between Hilley and Hassler when it’s asked, “Can you be that dumb and run for office?”. It’s a little on the nose when they look at each other, but when you consider not just the character, what the general public thinks of the government, and what Goldie made her name off of, the joke works in more ways than one. Everything leading up to this is exactly the persona she has nailed in so many different roles and made her the endearing movie star she is. Protocol and movies like Private Benjamin seem to be a turning point for Hawn to show she’s more than that. Here, we see her transition from being a screw-up that’s having fun to a woman who got a second chance to redirect her course in life, using it to learn and grow. These Washington politicians thought they were getting an idiot they can use without her figuring things out, but they underestimated Sunny. She’s not stupid. Just because someone likes to have fun and not take things so seriously, doesn’t mean they won’t take their position lightly.

As things get deeper, Sunny shows herself to be the matchup they didn’t expect. She studied up on her job and isn’t taking it for granted, and it’s scaring the political machine that thought they were going to have a free ride to gaining more power.

If this isn’t an allegory on the positive affect of voting in a democracy, I don’t know what is.

Protocol is a very entertaining light satire too. It may get a little cheesy when we get to the climax (you can say a lot about how the courtroom scene makes or breaks the movie depending on your mood that day), but its takedown of the role politics and PR stunts play in American lives was a very simple, yet entertaining showcase of how we’ve lost sight on the point of government and the freedoms in which we enjoy in this country. By the end, the film has a “call to arms” and though it can be preachy, it’s message of not just being a bystander to shaping our futures as Americans is ultimately an inspiring one. Let’s be honest, Sunny lucked into the position she was in and knows it. She could’ve sat there and took everything that was handed to her, got chewed up and spit out, and played victim afterwards without question. Though she does point out she accepted her job in Protocol without knowing what the hell she was doing, she took it because she actually thought these political figures giving her this spot were doing it for her best interests and had nothing to gain from it.

It’s true that sometimes, we just assume some people in power are trying to do what’s right for the people and don’t even consider ulterior motives, or just choose to ignore it entirely (the latter being more likely).

It’s a lesson learned, and she’s fine with it because it has reminded her how important the political game is in this country and how it can affect our very way of life. She even hits us with the important line that should be shown in every “Voting” commercial ever, “If I don’t vote or care, then I get what I deserve”. This may be harsh, but the words ring true.

Additionally, the interludes regarding the news media, celebrity culture, and how Sunny becomes an overnight sensation was a great storytelling device to show how the public has been reacting to her while her character grows and becomes a major political figure. From the magazine headlines to the television interviews, the questions and statements made from the public about the out-of-nowhere star are pretty accurate. I loved it when they brought in the “expert” security guard to get his thoughts on the assassination attempt because he was there on the scene. After talking about his credentials and how serious they take things, he admits he forgot what to do when asked with what he did when the shooting happened. At times, the satirical take on the media was even more entertaining than the political stuff. It helped push this very funny comedy to the next level.

*The ongoing gag about Sunny’s actual age had me laughing every time.*

My only gripe is that they sold this as a relatively harmless and simple comedic film but seeing where the story went and how interesting the character of Sunny becomes when dealing with foreign affairs, the media, and the whole thing with the Emir, I couldn’t help but think how much better the movie could have been had they taken the writing a bit more serious. It should still be a comedy, but one that goes even harder into the other direction, rather than giving us screwball scenes like Sunny having to chase after dogs in a park who are owned to a foreign leader. Little breaks like the funny party scene when Lou’s Safari Club turns into an adult Animal House were needed for the movie to still have some fun and make sense of Sunny’s background because it’s what makes her who she is, but the movie really hit its stride when the character and the story were taken a little more seriously in the grand scheme of things. They sold themselves short here. They were going strictly for commercial success instead of critical success when they could’ve easily had both!

Protocol is a funny take on politics and the media, powered by another great comedic performance by Goldie Hawn. It’s always cool to see one person take on the world, and this is no different here as Sunny Davis enjoys a lifetime worth of experience in an instant, becoming a stronger and more informed person because of it. Yes, it gets a little preachy, and yes, the film would’ve benefitted from a smarter screenplay, but it’s still very funny and an entertaining ride from start to finish.

“Americans don’t do things like that, do we?”

What? Screw people at the highest degree? Yes, yes we do.

I think we all learned something today. Thank you, Goldie.