Ghostbusters (also known as Ghostbusters: Answer the Call) (2016)

Starring: Kristen Wiig, Melissa McCarthy, Kate McKinnon, Leslie Jones, Chris Hemsworth, Andy Garcia, Cecily Strong, Matt Walsh, Charles Dance, Ed Begley Jr., and Zach Woods, with small roles from Bill Murray, Dan Aykroyd, Ernie Hudson, Sigourney Weaver, Annie Potts, Chris Gethard, Ozzy Osbourne, Al Roker, and Sam Richardson
Grade: C-

In Hollywood’s history, full-blown reboots almost never work because what came before it is just too beloved to overcome. Nothing could be truer in the case of Paul Feig’s Ghostbusters.

Summary

In New York City, Garett (Woods) is a tour guide at the Aldridge Mansion, the only 19th century home in New York City preserved inside and out. At the time of its construction, it was one of the most elegant homes in existence and had everything, even an “anti-Irish security fence”. He shows off one room to the tourists and talks about the urban legend that this is the place where P.T. Barnum thought of the idea to enslave elephants. Next, he tells them a scary story. On the morning of October 25th, 1894, Sir Aldridge woke up angry because his breakfast wasn’t ready. He called to his servants but none of them responded. It’s because they were all stabbed to death in their sleep the night before by his eldest daughter Gertrude. To avoid public humiliation, they decided to lock Gertrude in the basement instead of turning her over to the police. They fed her through a slot in the door. Years later, there was a new owner to the house, and they dug out her remains. However, the guy kept hearing weird sounds still coming from the room, so he sealed it shut. No one has opened the door to that room since then. Just then, a candlestick on a table near the door falls to the ground. Acknowledging it, Garett tells the tourists to steer clear of the door. Under the table, a blue surge of electricity is seen. After the workday is over, everyone in the Aldridge mansion is gone and Garett is turning off the lights to leave. He picks up the candlestick and laughs at the mechanism at the bottom of it that pushed it off the table, as it falling was all part of the show. Once he goes to leave, he hears noises coming from the Gertrude room he spoke about earlier. He takes a look at it and sees the door handle turning slowly. Then, loud screams are heard. Panicking, Garett runs to the door, but that door handle is too hot to touch, and he can’t open it. Next, something throws him against the wall. He apologizes aloud to Sir Aldridge and takes a chair to throw it through the window. When he throws it, a ghost catches it and throws it back at him. Garett is hit but runs in the opposite direction in a frenzy. For some reason, he runs down to the basement, seeing cracks all over the floor and a glowing green light coming from under it. The door shuts behind him.

A green ooze starts coming out of the cracks and a ghost appears. Garett tries to run up the wooden stairs, but they all break as he steps. Hanging onto a ledge, the ghost approaches him as he screams.

At Columbia University, Dr. Erin Gilbert (Wiig) practices her lecture before the students are in her classroom, speaking on how her calculations may lead them to combine general relativity and quantum theory. She’s a bit nervous because it’s the first time she’s been given the big hall for the lecture. Ed Mulgrave Jr. (Begley Jr.) shows up because he just discovered a book she co-authored, Ghosts from Our Past Both Literally and Figuratively: The Study of the Paranormal. She acts like she has no idea what he’s talking about and even comments that no self-respecting scientist believes in the paranormal. He points out the younger picture of her inside the book, so she relents and confirms it, though she assures Mulgrave that it was a long time ago and simply a gag between friends. He doesn’t buy a “460 page” book being a gag, especially with the first line of the book saying, “This is not a joke”. With this, she asks what he wants from her. He introduces himself and talks about how he’s a historian at the Aldridge Mansion. He believes its haunted and wants her to investigate it. He tried the police, but he just sounds crazy. Erin doesn’t want to get involved and refers to the book as utter nonsense. She doesn’t even know how he got the book because she thought she burned both copies. Mulgrave says it’s on Amazon, as there is a hard copy, an e-book, and Books on Tape. Following this, an angered Erin finds the book on Amazon while in her office and she’s pissed that her former friend Dr. Abby Yates (McCarthy) went over her head to release the book. Before she can do anything further, Dr. Harold Filmore (Dance) interrupts and brings up how she’s set for the final review of her tenure case on Thursday. He said he saw her recommendation letter from Dr. Branum at Princeton but isn’t too happy because their science department isn’t what it used to be. He suggests she get a referral from a more prestigious college.

Apparently, Princeton isn’t good enough for this guy.

He gets closer to her desk, so she covers her computer screen with a file, so he won’t see the Amazon page of her book on there. Continuing, Filmore sees her as an asset to modern physics, but he doesn’t want to see her throw it away. Once he exits, Erin looks back at the Amazon page of the book. She says aloud how Abby promised she wouldn’t do this. At the end of the page, it is said that Abby is continuing her passion for the study of the paranormal at the Kenneth P. Higgins Institute of Science. Erin taxies right over and finds the Paranormal Studies Laboratory. The names under it are Abby’s and Dr. Jillian Holtzmann (McKinnon). Erin enters and sees all this crazy equipment everywhere. More importantly, she sees several hardcopies of their book on sale on a desk. Erin knocks on the door to get her attention. Abby starts responding to Erin from the back of the room. She doesn’t know its Erin yet and thinks it’s her food delivery finally showing up. As this happens, delivery driver Bennie (Karan Soni) does show up, and Abby appears right after seeing Bennie and Erin. She pays Bennie and tells Bennie to show Erin the door, which he only halfheartedly does before leaving. Angry, Erin confronts Abby about putting their book online without her permission. Abby doesn’t think she needs her permission and argues how it’s a good revenue stream for her. Actually, she’s 1/10th of the way from getting a new mini fridge in there. Erin brings up how she’s up for tenure, but if someone were to Google her, the book would show up along with a ghost emoji. Along with this, there is no experimental backing for anything in the book, and it makes her look crazy. Abby completely ignores her and gets mad seeing that there’s only one wonton in her soup. As she calls the restaurant to complain, engineer Holtzman introduces herself to Erin while revealing she’s heard horrible things about her. Abby joins in and talks about how Holtzman is her co-worker that specializes in experimental particle physics, adding how loyal she is to poke at Erin for distancing herself from Abby all those years ago. Currently, Abby and Holtzman are working on actualizing what they just theorized in Ghosts from Our Past.

In fact, they are really close to finishing the hollow laser for the reverse tractor beam. Holtzman suggests they show Erin the EVP (electro voice phenomenon) as well. Erin doesn’t believe it because there’s never been one substantiated, but Abby has had enough of what she perceives as Erin’s cockiness. She goes over to a machine to show Erin while Holtzman tells her how they spent eight nights at the Chelsea Hotel. Initially, they didn’t think they got anything. Abby talks about how they were reviewing the tapes in the lab later on and plays a recording. It’s just a fart noise. They were messing with Erin, and she doesn’t appreciate it. She starts to leave. Abby asks that if Erin doesn’t believe in this stuff anymore, why was she looking for the book? Erin responds with how Mulgrave approached her at her work and how he thought the Aldridge Mansion was haunted. She thinks it was a joke, but it excites Abby and Holtzman. They get their stuff and head out, but Erin follows them, pleading with Abby to take the book down. Abby agrees to consider it until she gets her tenure, but only if Erin introduces them to Mulgrave. She agrees to the deal and goes with them to the Aldridge Mansion. Once they are finally there, Garett stops them from entering from across the street, telling them they aren’t open. Erin, Abby, and Holtzman go across the street to speak with him. Erin asks about Mulgrave, and Garett says he died 15 years ago. This excites Abby and Holtzman, but Erin knows who she talked to. Mulgrave shows up, and Garett details that this is son. Immediately, Abby asks Mulgrave when the last time a paranormal entity was seen, and he says Garett saw a ghost on Tuesday and it made him soil himself. Abby considers this a “T3” on her scale of T1 to T5. Holtzman comments that a T4 is if he shit himself. Garett insists he didn’t soil himself, but Mulgrave recalls their phone conversation and how Garett said, “Oh my God! My pants are toast!”. Regardless, Erin sees her part in this as done. So, Abby takes the lead and wants Garett to take them inside to give them a tour, and they can set up.

Garett has no interesting and throws the keys to the mansion on the ground, telling them they are going to die in there. So, Abby and Holtzman go in to check things out and a curious Erin follows them. Pulling out a PKE meter, Abby investigates the place to see if she can detect a ghost of any kind. Erin questions if the PKE meter works, but Abby says it does, though “I just haven’t had the appropriate proximity to an entity for it to work”. Abby gets a strange reading from Gertrude’s door but is unaware of the history of it. She just sees that the door is locked and isn’t meant to get into. At the same time, Holtzman has a handheld camera and is documenting everything, though she messes with Erin at the same time with it. When Erin is by herself, she steps on some of the green ooze. The door of the basement opens by itself too, but she thinks both of these occurrences were just pranks by Abby and Holtzman. They tell Erin otherwise and are just as shocked as she is. Erin brings up the possibility that it was Mulgrave and Garett, but Abby spots them still across the street from the window. Next, Abby’s PKE meter starts spinning like crazy, which startles her because she didn’t even know it did that. Their ears start popping to some noise, and Abby and Erin both agree this is an “AP-xH Shift”. A harrowing blue light comes from the basement, so Abby grabs the camera from Holtzman to use it. At the same time, Holtzman decides to eat some chips. Just then, the ghost of Gertrude floats out of the basement. The three women are in shock. Abby says it’s a Class 4 Apparation, distinct human form. Erin tries to talk to it and makes sure Abby is recording it all. Erin introduces herself, but Gertrude pukes a green slime all over her and flies away, going through the wall. They chase it into the street, but Gertude gets away. Even so, this is a win. They finally have documented evidence that ghosts are real! Plus, Erin is finally vindicated and celebrates with the two. Unfortunately, Abby records Erin’s excited reactions and posts them on YouTube. Naturally, Columbia University saw it, and Erin finds herself in Filmore’s office. At first, Erin denies it’s her, but Filmore isn’t stupid. Also, Dr. Bronstein saw it on Reddit. It was re-blogged from the website Ghost News. This isn’t a publication he wants his employees to be associated with, especially an employee up for tenure.

When they give someone tenure, they represent Columbia University. Something like this isn’t what they are about. With this, he fires Erin. Following this, Erin is in the lab with Abby and Holtzman explaining what happened, but Abby tries to cheer her up with the fact that they saw a real ghost. Erin agrees and talks positively about detecting a heavy ionization discharge from the ghost. A full torso transmogrification with corporeal aggression never happens, and Abby wants to tell the world. As Erin nods her head and starts to believe again, Abby takes her over to the computer to show all the comments they’ve been getting and how they’re not all crazies. Bypassing one comment insulting them, Abby points out one about a woman detailing a Class 3 haunting in her house. She can’t move, she can’t call the police, and she can’t call her friends. So, Abby asks, “Who she gonna call?”. They are interrupted by an introduction to ghost hunting television show Ghost Jumpers. There, the phonies on the show are chasing the ghost of Bigfoot. Hearing this, Abby blames the show and things like it for why they aren’t being taken seriously. She sincerely believes they are on the cusp of something huge, and the Institute they are working for are 100% behind them, surprising Erin. Abby reminds Erin how this was what they’ve been dreaming about since they were kids. Not only does she want Erin to join them, but she thinks the Institute will be excited to have her. All three women go to the Dean (Steve Higgins) to ask for more money, but the Dean is shocked to even hear Abby’s department still exists and thinks the Institute’s 12-year reputation is being besmirched by their studies on ghosts, which Abby can’t believe because he’s only the Dean because the last one went to jail. Even so, he fires them. Moving all their equipment out, Erin is still excited about being potentially the first scientists to prove the existence of the paranormal. All they have to do is find the entity, capture it, and bring it into a controlled environment. With this, Erin is back in the fold, and Abby is happy to see her friend back. Changing the subject though, Abby stresses how they have to get all the equipment to the car because they stole it from the Institue, which Erin didn’t know.

Just then, the Dean comes out and chases them with a bat. In the subway at the Seward Street stop, MTA staffer Patty Tolan (Jones) tries to start conversations with random people walking by, and none of them give her the time of day. Then, the strange Dr. Rowan North (Neil Casey) appears and notes how awful people are. He talks about how in the Fourth Cataclysm, laborers like her “will be among the last led to the butchery”. With this, he gives her advice to make the most of her time. North goes onto the tracks of the subway, and Patty sees it on the security camera. She goes after him. She can’t find him at first, as he walks away from some breaker box before walking right behind her and hiding again. Patty turns to find that this section of wiring is blue with electricity. Next, she looks over and sees a ghost floating towards her. North watches from behind a corner and just says, “Exquisite”. Patty drops her flashlight and runs. At some hotel, North works as a janitor and talks aloud to himself about being bullied his whole life, how he will be the bully, and how Seward Street and the Aldridge Mansion were just part of the plan. He is interrupted by his boss on the walkie-talking telling North they need him for a clogged toilet. Before he leaves, he talks about the universe bending to his will and “charge the lines, create the vortex, break the barrier”. Erin, Abby, and Holtzman go out with their realtor to check out a location she landed on. It’s the firehouse station seen in the old Ghostbusters films. They love it. However, the realtor tells Erin that the rent is $21,000 a month, to which Erin responds, “Burn in hell”. Because they aren’t offended by the smell of Chinese food, they land on an apartment above a Chinese restaurant. It’s actually the same place Abby gets her food from all the time. Soon after settling in, Abby orders food but it still takes Bennie an hour to give it to her. Holtzman starts lip singing and dancing to “Rythm of the Night” by DeBarge, and Erin thinks it’s funny until Holtzman accidentally sets something on fire. She puts it out but dances the whole time. Abby interrupts to say the website is up, and she has flyers to pass out with the message, “If you see something, say something”.

Erin lets her know this is the anti-terrorism slogan, and it just clicked for Abby that it is, so she goes back to fix some things. She does note they’ve already had a lot of calls about suspicious bags. Kevin Beckman (Hemsworth) drops in because he wanted to apply for the receptionist job. Naturally, Erin can’t help but be awkward in front of him because she’s fallen in love, but Abby calms this down. She spoke to Kevin on the phone already, so the wheels are already in motion. The three women sit down with Kevin and interview him. Erin asks if he’s seeing anyone, but he’s confused by the question and Abby changes the subject. Holtzman asks what he’s been doing his whole life. As he starts to bring up being an actor at one point, Abby questions why he there his glasses don’t have lenses. Weirdly enough, he took them out because they kept getting dirty. This isn’t the only red flag. Next, Kevin asks them if he can bring his cat to work sometimes because the cat has major anxiety issues. When Abby says she has a cat allergy, he has to explain that it’s a dog named “Mike Hat”. Abby knows she can’t say she’s allergic to dogs, but Kevin tells her it’s cool because the dog lives with his mother. Seeing that he solved his own problem, Abby changes the subject to bring up how Kevin dabbles in web design and that she had him put together a few logos for them. Unfortunately, one logo is a ghost blob with tits, another is the 7-11 logo, and the other one is a hot dog floating above a house. He argues that the latter is basically an unseen ghost holding the hot dog. Trying not to be mean, they tell Kevin to go and wait somewhere because they are going to talk things over. When they jokingly tell him not to listen, he covers his eyes. Yeah, this guy is a moron. As he messes with his surroundings and Holtzman just watches him in shock and horror, Erin and Abby discuss him. Erin knows he’s attractive but can tell he’s an idiot. Somehow, Abby doesn’t find him attractive at all, but she also wants to hire him because they need help. Those phones are going to start ringing soon and they can’t keep carrying their equipment everywhere.

Plus, he’s the only person who applied. With this, they give Kevin the job, and he goes outside to get his suitcases to bring in. Patty is waiting right outside the door, and they think she’s waiting for the Chinese food as a customer. Patty just thought it was a waiting room because she saw a magazine on the chair there. She starts talking about how the building was built in the same place as the first Chinese gambling den in New York. They stare at her confused, so Patty gets back on topic. She’s here because she was chased by a ghost. Patty takes the women to the station at Steward Street. She tells them how there used to be a prison above the subway there, and it was the first place in New York where they would electrocute people. The lights flicker for a moment, and the women get excited. Patty turns to see a graffiti artist about to tag the wall, as he regularly comes to this station. She interrupts him before he can begin, and Abby asks him if he’s seen a Class 4 semi-anchored entity anywhere in the vicinity. Erin puts it in basic terms, meaning has he seen a ghost. Apparently, he has and to describe it to them, he spray paints a picture on the wall. Patty pesters him the entire time, so he sarcastically agrees with her and writes a red line through the figure. Once he leaves, the picture is shown. It’s the famous Ghostbusters logo, and Holtzman notes how good it would be a for a logo. Even so, the women walk down the tracks and further into the tunnel. They only have a limited amount of time before the next train arrives. Patty also stresses not to touch the third rail because it will shock them with 750 volts. The green slime from earlier starts to drip down onto them as they walk, and Patty comments how she should have given them overalls because of how unsanitary it is down there. They find a metal plate where the electricity Patty saw seemed to be stemming from and it looks like a burn mark. Both Erin and Abby agree it’s a fission scorch, and Abby smells electrical discharge and isotopic decay coming from it. Holtzman comes over to smell it, but she is quickly distracted by a ghost in front of them with red eyes.

Abby has Patty shine her flashlight on the ghost, and Patty confirms it’s the ghost from earlier. Abby is excited because it’s more ionized than the one at the Aldridge Mansion. Abby gets her camera out and has Holtzman power up their untested machinery because they want to capture the ghost and study it. Holtzman gives Erin a weapon to shoot a proton stream at the ghost, or as Erin states, “the untested nuclear laser”. She also puts a metal collar of some sort around Erin, so she won’t die immediately from using it. Erin fires it up, but the stream falls apart quickly as the ghost inches closer. The second time it works, and she’s able to latch onto the ghost. Unfortunately, the express train is headed their way, and Erin can’t handle the power it takes to hold it and falls back. The women pull Erin to safety, and Erin continues to hold onto the ghost with the proton stream until the train hits and destroys their power source by running it over, hitting the ghost. The ghost explodes into a bunch of goo and drenches the women. Even so, there are some positives coming out of this. Abby is happy that the power surge held the ghost for the time it did, and Holtzman now sees they need more power, and they need to be more mobile. Later, Erin, Abby, and Holtzman are back at their headquarters at the Chinese restaurant. Erin is disappointed at the comments under the YouTube video they posted of the ghost because everyone is calling it fake. She sees the only way to prove themselves is to bring a ghost back to their lab and document it. Kevin gives Abby her coffee, so she asks if he remembered to put sugar in it. He can’t remember, so he tastes it himself, spits it back into the cup because he hates coffee, and confirms there’s sugar in it. Naturally, Abby doesn’t want it now, but Erin grabs it because she doesn’t want it to go to waste. They investigate the metal plate from the subway and question what North said to Patty at the subway, and Patty herself chimes in to tell them it was the Fourth Cataclysm.

They didn’t even know Patty was in the room until this point, but she wants to join their “club”. Kevin forgot to tell them they had a visitor. He uses this time to tell them now. The phone rings, and Erin has to remind Kevin to pick it up, but he explains that the phone is in the fish tank for some unknown reason. Erin still points out the phone on his desk, so he answers it, though he doesn’t know the name of the company. It’s Conductors of the Metaphysical Examination, but he botches it and hangs up the phone seconds into the customer speaking because he was “just not into that conversation”. Abby pleads with him to try a little harder at his job, and he agrees to if they call back. Despite this, he takes off for the day because he’s in the semi-finals of a hide-and-seek tournament. Abby still asks him to pick up all the suitcases they have, but he ignores her and runs straight into the door on the way out. Erin explains to Patty how this isn’t a club but rather a scientific research group. She gets that, but she reads a lot of nonfiction stuff. She acknowledges that the girls know science, but Patty knows New York. Plus, she can borrow a car from her uncle (Hudson), so they don’t have to lug all the heavy equipment around. Holtzman notes how badly they need a car. With this, they agree to add Patty to the group. Shortly after, she shows up with her uncle’s car. It’s a hearse because her uncle owns a funeral home. There are also may or may not be a body in the car because Patty didn’t check. Back inside, Holtzman updates them on the new equipment. She “added a booster using microfabricated radio frequencies, quadrupoles to speed up particles before entering the DLA device portable, wearable for maximum flexibility”, Abby added the “reversible psychokinetic energy sync” along with Holtzman’s “hollow beam”, and they created a metal cylinder to trap the ghosts. The four go into an alley, and Holtzman has Abby test the weapon she created. It’s incredibly powerful and throws Abby all over the place as she tries to keep control of it and fails to do so.

The four have dinner together and discuss how Abby met Erin when she transferred to Erin’s school junior year, how they bonded over ghost stories, and they thought partying was stupid, though Erin admits it was because they were never invited to the parties. Erin reveals she saw a ghost when she was eight years old. Apparently, the mean, old lady neighbor from next door died. That night, Erin saw her at the foot of her bed staring at her. The ghost stood there every night for almost a year. Erin told her parents, but they didn’t believe her and still don’t. She was forced to go to therapy for years, and the kids at school found out and made fun of her, calling her “ghost girl”. Abby was the only person who believed her. Meanwhile, North goes to the Stonebrook Theatre for some metal show. Following this, the news shows the video of the women’s subway mission, but the focus is more on them than the actual ghost. The news anchor asks what the people think of these “Ghostbusters” and if they are to be taken seriously, which annoys the women because that’s not their name. The anchor brings up how he spoke to famed debunker of the paranormal in Dr. Martin Heiss (Murray) of the Council for Logic and Data. Knowing how he can give instant credibility to the women if he confirms anything that happened in the video, Heiss refuses to believe in its validity. Erin is now fueled to capture a ghost and rallies the others. They are interrupted by the phone ringing and Kevin not getting it, so Erin has him answer the phone. He answers it by referring to them as “Ghostbusters” and talks a bit before hanging up. Erin and Abby have to yell at him to figure out who was on the phone, and he says it was the Stonebrook Theatre. There’s a ghost on the loose.

Putting on some overalls Patty got from work and getting the hearse Holtzman modified to look like the Ecto-1 from the original films, the women get to work!

My Thoughts:

Finally, the Ghostbusters returned to the big screen after all these years… Sadly, it’s just not the way we wanted it.

In a controversial decision, 2016’s Ghostbusters was an attempt to reboot the franchise with an all-female cast, and to say this wasn’t received kindly was an understatement. The real vitriol surrounding the production should not be on the individuals themselves. Kristen Wiig, Melissa McCarthy, Kate McKinnon, and to a lesser extent Leslie Jones, are all great comic actresses. Had this been an entirely original production, it may have succeeded. What Sony didn’t realize is that they underestimated the love for the original movies that started it all. In addition, they misunderstood the real appeal of the franchise. The Ghostbusters concept is a cool one, but the reason it became a pop culture phenomenon and universally recognized multimedia franchise is because of the original stars and characters that made it what it was. I was one of the many that reacted to this reboot in a negative way. When it was announced that a new Ghostbusters movie was being made, the excitement couldn’t be contained. Nevertheless, as soon as it was made clear that it was a reboot with a new cast rather than a sequel, I lost interest completely in its release. It’s as simple as that.

Since 1989, fans waited patiently for Ghostbusters III with Bill Murray, Dan Aykroyd, Harold Ramis, and Ernie Hudson back in the saddle. Every so many years, news would be reported about how it was close to coming to fruition, but nothing ever came out of it because of so many disagreements. The combination of expectations with every year they wait, overstated hate for Ghostbusters II souring everyone on the experience of a second sequel, and Murray refusing to get his head out of his ass stalled things for literal decades. Then, just when it was announced that the Ghostbusters were officially back in action after all this time, it’s relayed that the movie is a total reboot with none of the original characters returning that we loved. How could we as a fanbase not be disappointed? Again, the premise is a cool one, but the real joy was seeing the original group back for one more ride as the focus of the story, not this. In an interview with director Ivan Reitman, he commented that he never saw the hate being how the main characters are all females. The complaints stemmed from lovers of the original movie and wanting a continuation of that timeline. Reitman’s right, as that’s where a lot of us stand. It’s not automatically misogyny just because four actresses were hired and hate came with it. It’s the audacity of redoing it, and the studio turning a blind eye to want the fans wanted in the first fucking place. It was never about wanting the premise to continue for future generations, as much as Dan Aykroyd tells himself this. Actually, this is arguably why Extreme Ghostbusters didn’t catch on. The love the franchise receives is because of Murray’s Venkman, Aykroyd’s Ray, Harold Ramis’s Egon, Ernie Hudson’s Winston, the sarcastic humor, and the wacky screenplay ideas coming from the minds of Aykroyd and Ramis. That’s why we love the Ghostbusters franchise more than anything else. It’s also why any Ghostbusters production that doesn’t have them in some capacity is lesser than, and subsequently, HOW they are utilized in other productions indicates how good the production will fare. It doesn’t matter how many movies or shows they make in this series. It’s all traced back to the original actors.

This is why the rankings of everything in the franchise are the way they are. The original Ghostbusters is inarguably the best, Ghostbusters II is the second-best, Afterlife and Frozen Empire are third and fourth, The Real Ghostbusters rounds out the top 5, Extreme Ghostbusters is 6th, and this reboot is dead last by default.

None of these productions are inherently terrible, but the entertainment factor of each film or show can be rooted back to the involvement of the original cast and how much influence they have over the production. It’s really that simple. Anyone who has watched the franchise can see it, so I’m confused as to why these studios are blind to the fact and it took them that long to get to Afterlife. Really, Paul Feig’s Ghostbusters should have never existed. It just wasted time and was a slap in the face to the fans who wanted Ghostbusters III. To sit there on his high horse and ask, “Why is everyone so mad? They must just hate women” is asinine and shows you how little he, or anyone else for that matter, doesn’t understand fundamentally about what made the first movie what it was and why Sony was in the wrong for moving forward with this production. It’s not about being anti-woman and pro-man. It’s about being pro-Murray and pro-Aykroyd. We don’t care how old they are or what gender they happen to be. We just loved them because they are the talents that helped cultivate this cinematic legacy. To think otherwise is missing the point entirely. Keep in mind, Feig’s Ghostbusters isn’t that bad overall. It actually has a lot of funny material in it, and the women have great chemistry with each other. The issue is that the movie isn’t good enough to warrant its existence. The intention of this production was to essentially end the original series in favor of this one and redirect the trajectory of an entire franchise, disrupting a fanbase that started in 1984 with such a pivotal decision. Knowing this, it had to face the expectations of what the original movie did because this is what was going to happen had the film succeeded on all fronts. This reboot had to give the audience something good enough to where they could ACCEPT the new direction as if to say, “You know what? This was worth it. I’m glad they did this”. If you are paying attention, James Gunn’s Superman is doing that right now following Zack Snyder’s DC tenure. Essentially, this was the same thing that Feig and company had to pull off with Ghostbusters. Without a moment of hesitation, I can confidently say there is not a single moment or idea in this film that evokes such a response.

Ghostbusters, or Ghostbusters: Answer the Call depending on your preference, was purely an attempt at trying to make franchise money with new people simply because they were tired of dealing with the old stars that stalled the production of a third movie, which in turn stalled years of potentially money-making sequels regardless of how good they were. The actors involved, the writers, and director Ivan Reitman cared too much about the property and wanted to deliver on all fronts if they pursued a third film. This is why things failed to progress. This reboot was an attempt to say, “Fuck you. We’re tired of waiting, so we’re going to take your idea from you and do our own thing with it”. Because of this attitude, I’m glad it failed. Again, it’s not because of the cast. Considering the comic talent of 1984’s Ghostbusters with Saturday Night Live legends in Murray and Aykroyd, comedic legend in writing and directing in Harold Ramis, and Reitman’s known credentials as a filmmaker who thrived with comedic properties, the hiring of SNL alums Wiig, McKinnon, Jones, and Cecily Strong, along with a major comedic actress like McCarthy couldn’t have set the production up with anyone better for a female-led, supernatural comedy. If this was the direction they wanted to go down, this is the cast you’d want for it to succeed. The only way it could have been better would be to cast Maya Rudolph instead of the overacting and unfunny Strong and making Tina Fey the Mayor. At the same time though, they set these talented individuals up for failure because it’s just not what the fans wanted. To not foresee this backlash knowing we never got that third film is genuinely baffling. If the other productions didn’t exist, this film would have been received much better by audiences, as evidenced by the success of movies like Bridesmaids, Barbie, and the many Melissa McCarthy-centered movies. Unfortunately, there was a legacy beforehand that couldn’t be ignored, and it was never going to meet it. Had they started their own supernatural story with the same cast, and it wasn’t Ghostbusters, they would have fared far better.

As previously stated, there are still some positives coming out of the movie. The lighter tone is an enjoyable one and some could argue it fits a lot more with the style of the older movies than Afterlife and Frozen Empire do. The entire movie is brightly lit, the humor and energy are welcoming, and to all ages for that matter, and the imagery is vibrant to match. The core cast is amusing together, and there are loads of funny exchanges between Kristen Wiig, McCarthy, and McKinnon reacting to each other and the situations they find themselves in. Another good thing about the reboot is that they do a great job at being their own characters instead of female versions of the original male cast. Though most of the movie is a retread, this is one positive because it allows the understated humor Wiig and McCarthy are good at to flow naturally in conversation (“I’m just looking for a reasonable ratio of wontons to broth. This is absolute madness”). Great examples can be found when they get off topic and talk about Patrick Swayze movies or when they find North in his basement lair of the hotel. North talks about how he’s a genius, but he’s been disrespected, how these souls have been cast aside, how the world needs to be cleaned up, and his army of the undead will return to pester the living, so Abby tries to convince North about all the good things about life on Earth. She opens by talking about soup but then panics, “Oh God, I can only think of soup!”. There are plenty of these offhand comments that evoke laughter. It’s not devoid of humor despite what some may have led you to believe. How can you not laugh when Erin talks about the disappointment in her dyed orange hair and how it was her fault because the box said “Garfield, not even the cat. It was the president”. Kate McKinnon shined the brightest, as she was given some of the best jokes of the film, like how she immediately tells the guitarist she can’t pay for breaking his guitar during the concert scene, or excited at the possibility of a dead body being in the hearse Patty brought over with, “Yeah, I can think of 7 good uses for a cadaver TODAY!”. Though the shootout with the balloon ghosts was a mixed bag, Holtzman calmly stating, “You guys, this is exactly how I pictured my death” was gold too.

As it is with any Ghostbusters production, the pushback from city officials is done well here too. The direction they take is also appreciated. Mayor Marth Bradley, played amusingly by Andy Garcia, admits they know the Ghostbusters are legit, but they don’t want a panic, so they straight-up tell the team they will paint them as frauds to the media. The scene with the Ghostbusters, the Mayor and his assistant, and the Homeland Security agents was actually one of the better comedic sequences in the film (“I feel like we keep a low profile” – “You drive a hearse with a ghost on it, and you use a distinctly un-American sounding siren”). The other being Erin showing up at the restaurant to alert Mayor Bradley and pleads with him to not be like the Mayor in Jaws and he loses it (“Never compare me to the Mayor in Jaws! Never!”). It’s the more low-key scenes like this one that the movie does better than anything. Once the action becomes too grand in spectacle, it loses itself. On a side note, the argument of the public moving on from the claims of ghost sightings, despite the cat being out of the bag, was actually a fair one too when you take into consideration the public’s reaction in real-life to a lot of devastating events. Their eventual coming to an understanding, and the city agreeing to fund the group was a great solution to figure out a way for the characters to get back to the classic Ghostbusters firehouse base without having to pay the $21,000 a month rent. As Erin stated before, “Burn in hell”. It also should have happened years ago, as the town officials constantly at odds with the Ghostbusters, no matter how many times they saved the world, may have been the most aggravating story element of the franchise. The Ghostbusters SHOULD be state funded!

The small joke of Michael McDonald’s girlish scream was funny, and Chris Hemsworth was an unexpected gem. His deadpan doofus role as Kevin is almost too dumb until you start to notice the nuanced details of the humor surrounding his character. Him just standing there like a dumbass and saying, “You know an aquarium is a submarine for fish” before he hits that gong and puts his fingers over his eyes, adding “God, that’s loud, huh?” had me laughing. Once Kevin settles in a bit more, he quickly becomes one of the funniest contributors of the movie. The character may have benefitted from less though, as his role in the third act was an example of overstaying his welcome. The scene where he grabs his motorcycle wanting to be a Ghostbuster didn’t fit the cluelessness of the character in that point in time. Though Hemsworth’s star power is noted, a less-is-more approach with the Kevin character was what was needed. Moments like Abby throwing his sandwich and someone offscreen throwing it back to him was exactly the type of stuff he excelled at. Being anything more than that within the story was just another example of something added to the overstuffed climax that just never clicked. At that point in the film, the reliance on CGI overtook the movie and was way too much, the action hero exploits of McCarthy’s Abby and Wiig’s Erin didn’t feel right, North becoming Kevin felt forced to warrant Hemsworth’s contract, and the villain’s whole character description and motivation felt redundant and unoriginal. They came up with better antagonists in literally any episode of The Real Ghostbusters than what they did with Rowan North here. Neil Casey’s performance was uneventful to boot. The ending where Erin jumps in the vortex to save Abby was cool though (“I wasn’t gonna leave you twice”). The haunted Macy’s parade balloons were too much of a gimmick, and the only one that really worked was the ghost with the black and white striped pants. By far, the best ghostly entity the characters encounter were the spectral-possessed mannequins at the backstage of the metal concert. That was terrifyingly good!

Everything intersecting at the Mercado Hotel and that being pinpointed on the map is something we’ve seen done a hundred times over on film, Abby being possessed was botched from a comedic standpoint, and the two scenes where they test out weapons never get going either. Speaking of the new equipment, I liked the design of the new PKE meter and some of the other equipment like Holtzman’s laser guns, but the rest of the stuff wasn’t too memorable or necessary. The Proton Glove (“maximizes flexibility in hand-to-specter combat”), the Ghost Chipper (“sucks in the ghost and neutralizes it”), and the grenades were decent, but it didn’t have much of an effect to the entertainment value either. Then again, if Ray Stanz or Egon Spengler created them, my response probably would have been a lot more positive, so maybe I’m being overly critical here. One thing that should be criticized MORE however is Missy Elliott’s terrible remixed Ghostbusters theme song. Lucky for her, it only takes second place as the worst rendition of the theme song, as Extreme Ghostbusters still takes the cake. Have we not learned? What’s wrong with just sticking to the original theme throughout the course of a franchise like Indiana Jones or Star Wars? It’s okay to do so. Not everything has to be updated for modern audiences. Furthermore, people have pointed out the racial implications of Leslie Jones’s character, but this didn’t seem intentional and was blown way out of proportion. She fit in well with the main crew, but they also needed a person on the team to fill out the needs that the scientists couldn’t do themselves, like knowing the city and its history, getting them a car and the outfits, and because of the need of a fourth member for help in general. It just worked out that way, and Jones did a solid job with what was asked of her. Not once did I attribute this to her race as to why she played this character in the film. With this in mind, how come people didn’t have the same problem with Kate McKinnon playing her usual “weirdo” role? She’s played this character in different variations a thousand times. Not once has this been mentioned, but everyone had a problem with Leslie Jones’s playing a character that knows the city, which seems unfair. I would even argue it’s a case of overthinking.

Patty literally explains that she reads a lot of nonfiction and is well-informed about New York and its landmarks because of it. I don’t see anything wrong with this characterization.

Adding fuel to the fire of studio disagreements with creative heads and a lot of people not being on the same page, all of the end credit scenes should have been put into the regular runtime of the story. Literally all of it added to the characters and the humor of the film in some fashion, and it would have filled in plenty of cracks. Hell, Sigourney Weaver’s role as Holtzman’s mentor was actually worth expanding on. Really, the end credits were more entertaining than the bloated climax. Though it wouldn’t have saved the film, it may have helped. For instance, why wasn’t the possessed Kevin doing an extended controlled dance number with all of the possessed law enforcement officials below him in the movie? That would have been pretty funny and would do a lot more than trying to convince us of Kristen Wiig’s athletic ability in the ghost shootout sequence.

Had Paul Feig used this cast for a movie where the group would hunt monsters, mythical creatures, or aliens or something, they may have had potential for a new franchise. The problem is that they wanted these stars to take the mantle of the Ghostbusters, and that’s where it was immediately unacceptable. Even if you do give it a chance, the holes are still obvious and riddled throughout the feature. More importantly, Sony and company having the audacity in making this reboot the long-awaited return to the franchise after all these years of waiting is what did its potential in. Ghostbusters: Answer the Call pales in comparison to not only the original, but any Ghostbusters production before or since. It is funny and it is well cast, but that’s all it has going for it. They should have took half the budget of this average supernatural retread and given it to Bill Murray to convince him to star in Ghostbusters III when Harold Ramis was still alive.

Well, at least this failure led Sony to admit their mistake, giving us Ghostbusters: Afterlife as a result. Even so, they never would have had to do it had they sucked up their pride and figured out the third movie in the early 2010s.

Fun Fact: Emma Stone was approached to star but declined because she didn’t want to commit to a franchise. Cecily Strong was considered for one of the leads but ended up in a supporting role anyway.