You’re the Greatest, Charlie Brown (1979)

Starring: Arrin Skelley
Grade: B-

How Snoopy managed to fuck up that badly in the discus event has to be explained to me.

Summary

At the school gym, Peppermint Patty (Patricia Patts) has the whole Peanuts crew around and talks about how they have someone at their school entered into every event at the Junior Olympics, except for the decathlon. Right away, Linus (Daniel Anderson) says he doesn’t want to do it because you have to compete in 10 different things. It’s way too much work. Lucy (Michelle Muller) agrees, asking who would be dumb enough to enter the decathlon. Just then, Charlie Brown (Skelley) shows up to tell them that he’s not going on vacation after all. So now, he figures he can enter the track meet. He asks if there are any events left open. Linus says there is but before he can try to stray him away from the difficulty of the decathlon, Lucy cuts him off to tell Charlie Brown how they have the perfect event for him. Arguing that you don’t have to be good at anything in particular, she tries to sell him on the decathlon. Charlie Brown isn’t sure, but Lucy tries to hype him up by telling him he could be the next Bruce Jenner, which is quite the statement in hindsight. Linus admits it’s a lot of work because of the training involved for 10 events, but Charlie Brown is okay with it, as he sees it as being worth it if it helps the team. This prompts the entire group to shout, “You’re the greatest, Charlie Brown!”.

On the track, Peppermint Patty tells Charlie Brown they’re going to have to follow a strict training program from now until the meet. Because of this, she wants Charlie Brown to do 8 laps every day to warm up, as it equates to 2 miles. Charlie Brown goes to do a lap and Snoopy (Bill Melendez) follows him. After one lap, he’s falling apart, but Snoopy is completely fine. Peppermint Patty starts yelling at him since it’s only been a single lap, especially because he has to build himself up to run at least 5 miles every day. Charlie Brown starts to question if he’s suited for the event, but Peppermint Patty assures him he is and sends him back out to do his second lap. He gets about halfway with Snoopy next to him, and Marcie (Casey Carlson) stops him to ask what he’s training for. In-between breaths, he tells her it’s for the decathlon, and she encourages him by saying how strong he looks. He finishes the lap and Peppermint Patty looks much happier. Following this, Peppermint Patty spots him as he bench presses in preparation for the shot put and pole vault events. From afar, Lucy isn’t impressed. At the same time, Snoopy is benching too, doing it easily, and with more weight. During a break, Marcie tells Charlie Brown how she saw him lifting the weight and how brave he is. Charlie Brown corrects her, saying it wasn’t brave, just heavy. Marcie talks about how she was watching him lift the weights 7 times and how good he did, but he can barely get a word out. Peppermint Patty calls Charlie Brown over to stress how they are depending on him. The decathlon winner may decide which school wins the whole Junior Olympics. With this, she excitedly says how they’re going to get into calisthenics next. She guides him and Snoopy into doing jumping jacks on the spot. That night, Charlie Brown is in bed and tells Snoopy how tired he is. He also thanks Snoopy for working out with him, assuming Snoopy is just as tired as he is.

However, when Charlie Brown lays his head on the pillow to go to bed, Snoopy goes outside and hops around completely fine.

The next day, Peppermint Patty lets Charlie Brown know the 10 events he will be competing in, as Marcie watches from the side. He will do 5 events on Saturday and another 5 on Sunday. The first event will be the 100-yard dash. With this, she stresses how it’s important to get off the blocks fast, so she shows him how it’s done and races Snoopy for a brief period. She comes back and directs Charlie Brown to try it out. He gets on the blocks to race Snoopy, but he falls as soon as Peppermint Patty tells him to go. Peppermint Patty begins to realize how much work they have to do. Marcie goes over to Charlie Brown who is still on the ground. She tells him his form was good until he fell. Next, the four go over to practice shot put. Peppermint Patty shows him how it’s done and comments how it’s important to not go outside the circle. Charlie Brown picks up the ball and struggles with his balance while holding it, falling in and out of the circle. As Marcie tells him that he has great form, Charlie Brown throws it, trips and falls, and almost kills Woodstock (Bill Melendez) with the ball, just barely missing him. Charlie Brown is starting to think he shouldn’t enter the decathlon, but Peppermint Patty dismisses this and thinks all he needs to do is to build up his confidence. They still have a few days for him to get in shape too. She takes the group over to what will be the fourth event, the high jump. Peppermint Patty shows him the two ways to jump over the bar and does it with ease, which begs the question as to why she just didn’t enter the fucking decathlon. Charlie Brown and Marcie clap for her. Snoopy jumps over it with zero issues and lands on his feet, prompting Peppermint Patty to shower him with praise and talk about how he could easily clear 8 feet. Following this, they practice the 7th event, which is the discus throw. Peppermint Patty tells him again to stay in the circle like the shot put and then launches the discus to show him. Charlie Brown goes next, but the momentum and weight sends him to the ground and the discus backwards.

Peppermint Patty yells how he almost killed them and four other spectators. Unfortunately, that’s not going to give him many points. Now, Peppermint Patty is starting to question Charlie Brown’s abilities to Marcie, but Marcie thinks he should be given a chance. Peppermint Patty suggests another idea. What about Marcie? She’s in good enough shape. They could enter Marcie as a backup to Charlie Brown because she doesn’t think he can do it alone.

Finally, it’s time for the Junior Olympics. There is a packed crowd ready to watch. Before his event begins, Lucy tells Charlie Brown to not blow it because the school has a good chance at winning the track meet if he wins his event. Peppermint Patty interrupts to tell Charlie Brown how they just announced who he is up against and takes him over to introduce him to them. One of them is Freddie Fabulous from Fremont (Tim Hall). He won the event last year. Charlie Brown shakes his hand, but the cocky Freddie tells him that he will be sorry that he met him. He even calls Charlie Brown “kid”, which doesn’t make sense. He walks off laughing like a dick. Moving on, Peppermint Patty tells Charlie Brown that she put Marcie in as a backup, so she will help put pressure on the others. Charlie Brown is happy to hear this and they shake hands, with Marcie telling Charlie Brown how she’s admired how hard he’s been training. They wish each other good luck. Looking back at her paper, Peppermint Patty is confused at Charlie Brown’s other opponent. She’s heard of other schools like Fremont, but she’s never heard of the Ace Obedience School. Charlie Brown hasn’t heard of it either, so he asks what the person’s name is. It’s “The Masked Marvel”, meaning it’s Snoopy wearing a domino mask. On the intercom, the decathlon athletes get called over for the 100-meter dash, so Peppermint Patty tries firing Charlie Brown up. He gulps but takes off his sweat suit ready to go.

It’s game time!

My Thoughts:

Fitting with the neighborhood kid vibe they encapsulate so well, a lot of Peanuts specials tend to revolve around sports in some capacity. They have touched on baseball (It’s Arbor Day, Charlie Brown, Lucy Must Be Traded, Charlie Brown, It’s Spring Training, Charlie Brown), football (You’re in the Super Bowl, Charlie Brown), motocross (You’re a Good Sport, Charlie Brown), the very specific soapbox derby racing (Snoopy Presents: Welcome Home, Franklin), as well as swimming, softball, and arm wrestling (It Was a Short Summer, Charlie Brown). With You’re the Greatest, Charlie Brown, they touch on track and field, as the kids have to perform in a Junior Olympics held by several schools around the area. In the grand scheme of Peanuts specials, it’s not top tier in the all-around sense, but it’s one of the better sports-related ones, so that should count for something.

One plot hole is too distressing to get over, however. All the kids talk about is the importance of the Junior Olympics and why the decathlon can make or break the decision of if they can win the whole thing. With this on everyone’s mind, why would they put Charlie Brown in such a crucial event? The argument of not having to be great at one particular thing is a funny way to sell it, but it doesn’t take a genius to know that you still have to be relatively good at all the events, which is why it’s usually reserved for an all-around athlete. Doesn’t it make more sense for Peppermint Patty to get the job then? Everyone knows she’s the best athlete in their grade. What’s she doing coaching? This would be a real backwards strategy to cuff your best athlete in an effort to channel her energy into training others. Peppermint Patty running in sandals would give the school a better shot at winning the 100-meter dash than Charlie Brown with shoes on! Because of this, it yields other questions. Is she a part of another event? She didn’t say if she was, but if she was participating, there’s no way she would shut up about it. Everyone knows how boastful Peppermint Patty is when it comes to sports. You also start to question what other events the other kids are involved in. Who is or isn’t occupied? You’re telling me Charlie Brown is a better option for the decathlon over Pig-Pen or a wildcard like Shermy? I don’t buy it. Obviously, we know they can’t show every single event in full to showcase what each member of the Peanuts gang is competing in because you can run into a situation where the special becomes too repetitive like You’re in the Super Bowl, Charlie Brown. Nevertheless, there needs to be some other narrative detail as to why they would put the biggest event on the shoulders of the most average athlete in the class. Even when Linus tells Charlie Brown to not worry and that all he can do is to try and do his best, Charlie Brown hilariously admits, “That’s the problem. My best isn’t very good”.

Lucy jackknifing the whole thing out of spite and suggesting Charlie Brown take the event just because she’s a bitch makes sense. Her being preoccupied with her anger over Charlie Brown doing good enough to be in third place rather than dead last like “The Masked Marvel”, because of the high jump hurting him, was totally on brand with who she is. Peppermint Patty’s encouraging words about how they might win the Junior Olympics if Charlie Brown does well on the second day should bring joy to everyone, but Lucy angrily exclaiming “The whole world must be coming to an end!” was great. Plus, it was a great segue into the next day. However, no one else in the class intervening to say that they should think about someone other than Charlie Brown for such an important event seems odd. After the first day of the decathlon, Charlie Brown expresses his nervousness to Linus, saying that the whole school is depending on him. It just doubles down on how serious these kids are taking the event as a whole, which only furthers the question as to why they tasked Charlie Brown with such a job. Then, Linus has the audacity to tell Charlie Brown to just do his best, adding “I’m sure everyone will be satisfied”. If there was ever a line that didn’t fit Peanuts canon, it was this one. Is this is his first fucking day in this school? It’s literally a recurring gag how much shit Charlie Brown gets from his classmates for the smallest things that he does, including from Linus’s own sister in Lucy. If Charlie Brown actually did something to warrant their criticism, you don’t think they would jump at the chance? What world is Linus living in?

On top of that, why does Charlie Brown’s school the only one that gets an alternate that competes in every event to help them win? Wouldn’t all the schools attempt this cheat code if it was allowed? Also, the final event is the 1500-meter race, and Peppermint Patty reminds Charlie Brown that it’s his “best” event. Wait, what? Are we missing something? He can’t run for shit! The eye test would tell you that from the outset, and it’s only proven during the training scenes and some of the events themselves! Why is he suddenly good at it? Now, Charlie Brown winning in discus makes sense. He’s built for an event like that. If he could channel the energy coming from his big ass head into his shoulder and arm, he probably could have won in shot put too. He did win javelin though, so we have to give him credit there. Once it was “hero time” like Peppermint Patty said, he grits his teeth and goes out to prove the doubters wrong. Even when he was dog tired, he took off that sweatsuit looking determined going into shot put and watching him get this many “W’s” was a welcomed and deserved sight for the long-suffering protagonist. Even if the decathlon turned out the way it did, they write in such a way that we can laugh at our hero’s continued misery but also take solace in knowing that he could have won the whole thing if he didn’t “Charlie Brown” the fuck out of it. The point is that he was a good sport in the end and that’s crucial. Plus, how can anyone be mad at sweet little Marcie? On the positive side of things, Charlie Brown and Marcie encouraging each other on every event is a nice element of the special to showcase sportsmanship from two of the most likable characters in the franchise. No matter what happens, the two are respectful to each other and it’s very sweet. For example, Freddie goes out of his way to tell Charlie Brown to watch him on the broad jump and calls him a pumpkin head. Charlie Brown looks sad and embarrassed because of it, but Marcie is quick to be his bright light, telling him to not listen to Freddie and how he’s better than him.

It’s cute, even if it was completely untrue because that Freddie is clearly a star athlete. He’s as asshole, but I admit I did laugh when he came back and comments to the both of them, “Ok, you pigeons. Try and beat that one”. Still, before the big finale, Charlie Brown and Marcie even wish each other good luck, with Charlie Brown taking it a step further by saying it was an honor competing against her. On the flip side, Freddie tells the Masked Marvel he’s going to run him into the ground, showing the difference in how kids can be in athletic competition and the right/wrong way on how to go about things. All of it leads to a funny little ending where Marcie tells Charlie Brown how he’s a great competitor and gentlemen, adding “I think you’re the greatest Charles”. Right after, she lifts her glasses and winks at Charlie Brown, prompting him to blush and Peppermint Patty being weirded out by the whole interaction. It’s a great moment that is basically Peanuts in all its glory. So, for all of the faults regarding You’re the Greatest, Charlie Brown, the ending saved a lot of the basic problems and logistical issues. Story-wise, they do figure out how to fix the obvious problem of Charlie Brown’s lack of athletic prowess. After he gets smoked on a race by Freddie Fabulous, Peppermint Patty explains to Charlie Brown the scoring system in that “You’re running against tables, the charts for the decathlon. You get so many points depending on what time you run”. Though it could have been worded better in explaining that Charlie Brown gets at least something for doing the race and that it ultimately helps the team no matter where he places, I’m not sure how Freddie winning gives Charlie Brown all the points. What the fuck is this numbers system they are using?

Also, how in the fuck did Freddie give himself damn near a concussion doing the discus? Spinning and falling face-first is some amateur hour type shit for someone who they thought was going to destroy every event.

The time constraints really do bother this special. The story is riddled with plot holes and logistics issues, Charlie Brown’s shot put throw was just as good as Freddie’s according to Marcie, but it’s thrown offscreen so we can’t even compare them, and they waste what should have been a huge moment in the high jump. After Snoopy bounces off the bar and Freddie claims it’s his best event before accidently landing on the bar and falling, they cut to everyone stretching. It’s used as a time jump, and then they just cut to Charlie Brown congratulating Marcie on winning the event. Why avoid giving Marcie a moment to shine? Why don’t we see Charlie Brown attempt this one? If he came in 2nd over the supposed super athlete of Freddie and Snoopy, seeing Charlie Brown do this well on one event would actually make the viewer believe in Peppermint Patty’s words of encouragement on how he’s going to win the whole thing.

There isn’t a lot of legitimately funny things that happen during the sports part of the special other than the climax of Charlie Brown closing his eyes during the final 1500 meter race and running straight out of the park, but him only getting over the first hurdle before knocking all the others down and finishing dead last to put him neck and neck with the Masked Marvel in last place was amusing. Snoopy fucking up the pole vault badly enough to where it flings him over the entire field and into the dirt of where the broad jump is held was also a highlight. Furthermore, a dog winning the hurdles was a joke they should have acknowledged. The did comically state that the Masked Marvel won in school record time “by a nose”, but they undersold the fact that a dog should have and did take it with ease. Then again, are they trying to convince us that they really don’t know its Snoopy under the mask? It’s an ongoing joke with Peppermint Patty calling Snoopy a “funny looking kid” and not fully comprehending he’s a dog, but you’d think Charlie Brown and Marcie could see through it, right? Even so, they never reveal to the viewer if the two know who it is. They just play it straight and act like he’s another competitor from a different school without making a side comment about Snoopy being up to his usual antics.

Though I don’t necessarily believe Peppermint Patty telling Charlie Brown that the school knows he did his best and they don’t hate him since any minor infraction he’s caused previously has led to shame and ridicule by his peers, at least we know the school won. You’re the Greatest, Charlie Brown is a mid-tier Peanuts special as a whole and has too many inconsistences and logistical problems to ignore. Even with this, it’s a solid watch, nonetheless. It has a few fun moments, it has one of the better Charlie Brown/Linus exchanges, our protagonist is able to achieve some success finally, and its conclusion is a fulfilling one that takes three different characters into account and adheres to their character traits respectfully while finishing the story arc off in rewarding fashion.

Maybe next time Charlie Brown can be the hero, or at least we hope. However, maybe he will get his wish instead of being treated “like Bruce Jenner” before that.