Hit and Run (2012)

Starring: Dax Shepard, Kristen Bell, Bradley Cooper, Tom Arnold, Michael Rosenbaum, Kristen Chenoweth, Jason Bateman, Sean Hayes, David Koechner, and Ryan Hansen
Grade: A-

The old man beating the absolute dog shit out of Ryan Hansen was worth the watch alone.

Summary

Charlie Bronson (Shepard) and his girlfriend Annie Bean (Bell) are in bed together and he’s trying to get Annie to calm down and concentrate before her big day. They get off topic and start joking around with each other. He questions Annie if she has HPV, and she messes with Charlie on how old he might actually be. Even if he says he’s only five years older than her, she’s never seen any documentation, so he might be 45. They play fight until Annie pulls his hair and he responds by grabbing her wrist. They both agree to let go, and he gets back to getting her to concentrate while he lays on top of her. He has her close her eyes and take three deep breaths, stating how there is no yesterday and no tomorrow. There’s only “right now”. Charlie reminds Annie that she’s not late for anything or missing anything. She’s exactly where she’s supposed to be. She’s exactly who she’s supposed to be, absolutely perfect. Whatever happens today is exactly what’s supposed to happen. Annie tears up as he’s saying this. Giving her the option, Charlie says he will spend the rest of his life with her if she wants. She does, and they kiss. Charlie assures her that she will have a wonderful day today, and there is nothing she needs to be nervous about. Annie feels at ease. They kiss while Charlie jokingly comments how she’s terrible on the eyes and that he doesn’t know why he shares a bed with her.

Annie goes to her car for work. Before she can leave, US Marshal Randy Anderson (Arnold) drives in and stops by her car to ask if Charlie is awake because they have a meeting in town, and he was there to grab him. Annie confirms and leaves right after, asking if the anxious looking Randy is okay. He says he is while talking on the phone, though he spills coffee on himself right after he hangs up. He gets out of the van, but he left the car on neutral, and it starts going down a hill without him. Randy chases after it down the road and into someone’s yard. Once he sees his van might hit some kids sitting in their front yard, he pulls out his gun and tries to shoot down his own car. He misses wildly and hits the neighbor’s house a few times along with his own mirror. Charlie sees the commotion through the window and rushes outside. Once the car finally crash-stops before it hits the kids, Randy angrily puts the car in park and Charlie starts yelling at him from his porch. Still holding his gun, Randy starts yelling back at Charlie. As this goes on, the mother of the two kids rushes her children back in the house while Randy tries to pull out his badge to explain that things are cool. Once Charlie walks over and they continue to argue, a frantic Randy blames it on spilling his coffee on himself. Charlie calms things down and walks Randy back to his house to talk. At Milton Valley College, Annie shows up for her meeting with her supervisor, Debby (Chenoweth). As Debby finishes up some paperwork before they begin, Annie takes some deep breathes, which intrigues Debby who asks what she’s doing. Annie admits that someone told her to do it when she’s nervous, so Debby suggests she take Xanax instead and “super charge” it with wine or beer. Next, she asks why Annie is nervous. Annie knows it’s the end of the semester and the school is dealing with budgetary issues, so they have to let a few professors go. Because of this, she assumed the worst when she got the note for the meeting in her mailbox.

Debby asks Annie if she would be upset if she was hypothetically fired from a jack-off booth for truckers at a rest stop. She admits she wouldn’t, so Debby relates this to Milton Valley being the jack-off booth of academia. With this, Debby tells Annie that she’s too smart and passionate to work there. Annie points out how she created her own major at Stanford, and she has a doctorate Non-Violent Conflict Resolution, which no university offers as a major. So, she teaches intro to sociology classes and she’s in a relationship here. Debby stops her because UC is starting a conflict resolution program. She spoke to the head of the sociology department, and this person is extremely interested in hiring Annie to run the program. Apparently, she’s meeting the other applicant on Wednesday, and she’ll need to make a decision that day. Their semester starts in a week, and Annie is meeting her on Wednesday. Annie is elated at the news, though she’s not sure what to do since Charlie can’t leave Milton due to him being in the Witness Protection Program. Debby stops Annie again to offers some advice.

Debby screwed up her own life and worried too much about what her previous boyfriends thought. She says that’s not Annie because Annie deserves much more than this. Back at the house, Randy talks about how he hopes Charlie’s neighbor doesn’t report him for firing his weapon. He is allowed to fire his weapon since he’s a Marshal, but there have been a couple of incidents. Getting in trouble again could be bad, though he considers his current assignment to be the bottom of the barrel as a Marshal. Charlie asks how he got stuck in Witness Protection, so Randy admits it was because he accidentally discharged his weapon, once at a gas station and another at a baseball game. He assures Charlie no one got shot and kind of puts the blame on his superiors because he wanted a revolver rather than an automatic. Randy begins waving the gun around in the kitchen while explaining himself, and a nervous but experienced Charlie grabs it from him and takes it apart. Randy gets mad and puts all the pieces in his pocket. He knows they are friends, but Randy is adamant that Charlie is not to touch his gun again, which leads to Charlie apologizing. In the evening, Annie comes home to Charlie who made a romantic dinner for her out on the porch. She’s almost in tears at the sight of the sweet gesture, and she sits down with him. Fighting back tears, Annie explains how Debby found her a job where she can head her own department in her own field, and it would be the first one like it in the country. Charlie doesn’t understand why she’s upset, so she reveals the bad news. It’s in Los Angeles, so Annie would have to move. On top of that, Debby said she would fire Annie if she didn’t take the interview, so she wouldn’t even have her current job in Milton anymore. Without saying a word, Charlie grabs his food and head inside. After throwing out his food, Annie comes in because she wants to know what he’s thinking. He’s pissed off because she’s the one thing that makes this town bearable for him, but she’s leaving.

Annie didn’t say she was leaving, but Charlie says she has to. Even if she wanted to stay, Charlie wouldn’t let her. He wouldn’t forgive himself and neither would she. Annie argues that this isn’t true and she wouldn’t resent Charlie if she stayed, but he just stares at her because he knows the truth. After a quiet and sleepless night between the two of them, Annie gets ready for work the next morning and Charlie asks where she’s going. She says she’s going to talk to Debby and beg her to give her job back. Charlie questions if she wants to do this. Annie simply responds that she would have to be outside packing her car at that second if she wanted to be in LA by Wednesday. Charlie knows this doesn’t feel right, but she just says she will be back in an hour or two. Following this, Charlie ponders what to do next. He takes his car out from the shed and drives off. In Debby’s office, Debby points out to Annie how she’s been dating “this clown” for one year and how it will only take her 6 months to get over Charlie. She gives Annie some Xanax and some other pills in a bottle, even though Annie doesn’t want them. The two are interrupted as they hear the revving of an engine. It’s Charlie, so Annie goes out to ask what he’s doing there. Charlie wants to take her to LA. He can’t live in Milton without her, but he’s not letting her stay. Annie knows he can’t leave Milton because of his Witness Protection status and questions if this is a dangerous decision, but Charlie doesn’t think so. It’s been four years and LA is a big city. It’s time. Annie couldn’t be happier. The two immediately set off for LA, which confuses Annie because she didn’t pack yet. Charlie says he packed everything she would want, but she doesn’t think it would fit in his car. He argues that it’s a hardtop convertible, meaning the whole roof slid into the trunk. If the trunk was designed to hold the entire roof, it would fit her stuff. Even so, she still needs her teaching certificate. Unfortunately, it’s at her ex-boyfriend Gil’s (Rosenbaum) place. Annoyed, Charlie drives over to Gil’s.

Gil is working out in his living room in formal clothes for some reason and hears the car pull up. Once he sees Annie is there, Gil answers the door with his shirt off. As he tries to explain how she caught him on a laundry day, Annie bypasses this to bring up how she thinks she left her teaching certificate in one of the photo albums. Since they split up the photo albums between them, he might have it. He understands and invites her in to talk about it, but she declines, as she just wants the photo album. Gil brings three photo albums over and against suggests she take a look at them inside, but she knows it would be in the back of the album if it was in there. Gil questions what the hurry is, so she reveals how she’s taking a job in LA and needs it. He starts flipping out because she’s moving 500 miles away with a guy she barely knows named “Charles Bronson” who is in the Witness Protection Program. Gil doesn’t want to let Annie go for her own safety, bringing up how people who land in the program are criminals who rat on other criminals to save their own ass. Annie gets pissed off and realizes she never should have told Gil about Charlie in the first place. In addition, she tells Gil how he has no authority to not let her do anything. Plus, she says Charlie was given the name because he witnessed a crime, adding that he’s a good Samaritan, not a criminal. Gil tries to take the photo albums back while saying how Charlie is going to murder her and role-play with her corpse. They start fighting over the albums, prompting Charlie to pop out of the car to ask Gil what the fuck he’s doing. Gil immediately backs off and says he was just giving her the albums. After Charlie insults him, he tells Gil to give her the fucking books and sits back in the car. Right away, Gil goes back to Annie and tries to tell her that she’s not safe and how she better hope he’s there to save her. Annie storms off with the photo album and Charlie drives her off. Unbeknownst to them, Gil reads off the license plate number aloud to remember it.

During their drive, Charlie and Annie discuss Charlie’s car, how she thinks its obnoxious, how he thinks it’s cool and it has 700 horsepower, and how she remembers Charlie saying the car was broken. She remembers it specifically because Charlie said this when she thought about turning the shed into a craft room. Realizing he’s caught, Charlie admits he lied because when you’re in Witness Protection Program, you’re not supposed to bring anything with you, especially not a car. However, he spent a year and a half building it with his dad (Beau Bridges), and he didn’t just want to give it up. Him and his dad weren’t the hottest communicators, but they worked well together. His dad was into off-road racing and building old cars, so they did that together. Annie is satisfied with this explanation because she finds it sweet, and they take an exit to get some burgers. In town, cop Terry (Jess Rowland) uses his gay dating app Pouncer and shows his female partner Angela how it works. She sees how there are no other people on the app in this area, so Terry explains how it’s a small town, so there aren’t any gays there. However, he’s used it in airports, Las Vegas, and Austin and has had a lot of success. Since she’s straight, she can attempt to hit on random people, but Terry argues that if he were to do the same randomly, he could be the victim of a hate crime. Regardless of this, Terry is brothers with Gil, and Gil calls Terry to see if he changed his mind. Terry explains how it doesn’t work like that and can’t just have Charlie tailed or brought in because Charlie hasn’t done anything. Gil tries to guilt trip Terry by saying what could happen and then brings up how Terry still owes him $1,700. Terry reminds Gil how he got him out of that DUI and the report said Gil soiled himself “like a fucking homeless man. You evacuated. You shit your pants”. Terry reiterates how he fixed that for him, so Gil agrees to forget the $1,700. He just wants Terry to do it since Terry is his brother. Terry relents and asks for the plate number. Remembering it off the top of his head, Gil tells him it’s GL-879.

Typing it in his computer, Terry sees that the plates have been expired for three years, and it’s not even in his name. It’s registered to a Yul Perrkins. Gil realizes this is Charlie’s real name.

After hanging up, Gil goes to his computer, where he hilariously still has a photo of himself in bed with Annie when they were dating as his background. Nevertheless, Gil looks up Charlie’s real name of Yul Perrkins and finds the article detailing Charlie’s case about how he was a key witness in the state’s case against Alexander Dmitri (Cooper) and Noel Hodges. The three suspects together were accused of robbing the First National Bank. The state finalized a plea bargain with Perrkins. Next, Gil looks up Dmitri’s Facebook page and messages him, “For the next 24 hours, I know where Yul Perrkins is”. After this, Gil packs up his things, which includes a steak knife and a golf club among other things and drives off. Charlie and Annie are eating outside of a diner and Charlie is talking about how the Iraqi dinar is going to go to the value of the Kuwait dollar and that its trading at a thousand dinar per US dollar. They are interrupted by Randy calling to ask where he’s at. Randy is outside of Charlie’s house with a new bowling ball since he considers Charlie a naturally good bowler and shouldn’t be using the house balls. Charlie thanks him for the gesture but reveals to Randy how Annie got a great job opportunity in LA, so he’s going with her. Randy reminds him how he can’t leave Milton. Charlie knows it’s not advisable, but he technically can leave. Randy says that he has to have a Marshal with him at all times if he does leave, in case something happens. If something does happen and Randy isn’t there, he’s going to get fired. Charlie doesn’t think he’s Randy responsibility anymore because he’s leaving Witness Protection. Randy admits Charlie can leave, but he still has to go through the process to do so since there are forms and stuff that he has to sign. He asks where Charlie is at, but Charlie explains how he’s already on his way. Randy tells him to stay there because he intends on coming to him. Charlie apologizes and talks about how sudden the whole thing was. Randy is already in his van asking for Charlie’s location as he backs up into the mailbox.

Charlie hangs up and tells Annie how hellbent Randy is on protecting him, which could spell danger for the both of them. Charlie rushes Annie to the car where some random guy is standing outside of the vehicle, admiring it.

He asks Charlie if the car has nitrous, but Charlie replies, “No. Nitrous is for fags. It’s got cubic inches”. Upon driving away, Annie questions Charlie’s use of the term. Charlie explains how he was using it in place of lame rather than the homophobic way. Annie suggests he just say the word lame, but Charlie counters how it’s the same reason he uses the word “fuck” instead of “frick”. It packs more punch. It’s basically the swear word version of lame. Annie doesn’t want to hear this, adding how it’s a hate word meant to perpetuate homophobia and is used to marginalize gay people. Charlie doesn’t see it this way and reminds her how he voted to legalize civil unions. Also, he had a lot of gay friends, when he had friends. She replies that he shouldn’t use the word then, but Charlie says he doesn’t use it to reference actual people, especially homosexuals. She asks if that makes it okay in his eyes, and he thinks it does (“Morally, I feel fine about it”). Trying to understand it from his perspective, Annie asks if its alright as long as it’s not in reference to a person, relating it to a hypothetical where she could call her purse the n-word (“Honey, have you seen my n-word? Can’t find my n-word anywhere, and it’s the expensive one”). Seeing her point, Charlie says he will work on it. Just then, Charlie realizes Gil is tailing them. He pulls over to put a stop to it all, so Annie asks what he plans on doing. He calmly explains how he’s going to tell Gil to stop following them or he’s going to pull him out of the car and beat the shit out of him. Annie doesn’t think this should be solved that way, but Charlie is confident this is exactly how this should be handled. Annie reminds Charlie how she’s the one who has a doctorate in conflict resolution. Charlie respects her degree but notes how they don’t have time to bring in a mediator. Annie says she will not live with a guy who says “fag” and beats up guys on the side of the road. She refuses to teach nonviolence at a university and marry Dog the Bounty Hunter.

Keeping this in mind, Charlie exits the car to talk to Gil in private. Annie stays in the car.

You would think she would be there to prove her degree, but that is not the case.

Gil says he’s there to protect someone he loves and questions what Charlie is doing, referring to him as “Yul Perrkins”. Charlie begins to threaten Gil if he says the name out loud again, but Gil challenges him to do something. Remembering Annie’s words about avoiding violence, Charlie tells Gil how he loves Annie enough to go back to LA where he might be killed. He adds that he loves Annie so much that he’s not beating Gil’s head against the ground, as she asked Charlie not to. However, he warns Gil that if he were to do something that results in Annie leaving him, he promises he will beat Gil to death. He tells Gil that the name stays between them. Gil replies that they have a mutual friend in Alex Dmitri. Bypassing this, Charlie just goes back to the car. Annie thanks Charlie for not getting violent and asks if Gil is going to leave, but he reveals that Gil is going to follow them all the way to LA. She asks Charlie how he wants to handle this. He says that if she’s not going to let him kick his ass, she’s going to have to let him run from Gil. She’s cool with this and says she’s proud of him. As Gil gets out of the car and starts stating Charlie’s real name aloud, Charlie begins to rev the engine to block it out while Annie questions what Gil is saying. Charlie tells Annie how this next part is going to get radical, but he doesn’t want her to be scared. He raced when he was growing up and even drove professionally for a while. As Gil runs back into his car, Annie tells Charlie she trusts him, so he buckles her up. They kiss and Charlie burns the rubber as he spins in circles, smoking out Gil who’s parked right behind him. Charlie drives off with Gil following, and they weave in and out of traffic while Gil leaves Annie a message on her phone to tell her what he’s doing. In the middle of all of this, Charlie is able to elude Gil but nearly hits Randy head-on until Randy drives off the side of the road. Randy flies down a hill and his gun goes off several times in the car.

Charlie realizes it was Randy but drives into someone’s yard to hide. They see Gil drive right past and not notice them. After this, Charlie drives over to find Randy trying to get his car unstuck.

He asks if Randy is okay, and Randy starts flipping out about how Charlie ran him off the road. Charlie points out how he had plenty of time to get back in his lane just like him instead of driving off into the field, but Randy thinks they would have crashed if he didn’t do so. Charlie knows he had another incident with his firearm and is getting defensive, so he doesn’t try to argue further. He just wanted to make sure Randy was alright. Randy says he’s not being defensive and blames the whole thing on Charlie, so Annie pops out to ask if he’s alright. Randy calms down and confirms. Charlie asks Randy if he wants him to send in a tow truck, so Randy flips out again. He notes how he obviously he has a cell phone and was on a call until Charlie wrecked him. Charlie goes back to the car. Though Randy tries to plead with him to stay since he will just have to chase them, he congratulates Annie on the new job and the two ride off and leave Randy in the field. At a supermarket, Dmitri and his girlfriend Neve (Joy Bryant) spot a pitbull outside of the store with its leash attached to the fencing to wait for its owner. Dmitri pets the dog while talking about how they’re not so bad, prompting Neve to bring up a show where there are white girls living with pet tigers and that she would never do that. Dmitri flirtatiously jokes how he lives with a tiger and he’s no white bitch, and they kiss. In the line at the grocery store, Dmitri runs into the dog’s owner who is about to buy some basic dog food. Dmitri strikes up a conversation with him and says the dog won’t like that specific food. The owner comments how the dog is lucky he feeds it anything at all after it tore up his couch. Neve comments to Dmitri how she’s right in that the dog isn’t a lamb. It’s a tiger. The owner agrees with Neve and checks her out in front of Dmitri. Dmitri replies that the dog may have thought the couch was healthier than the “landfill” he’s giving him. Finally, the owner has enough of Dmitri’s suggestions and tells him to back off.

Dmitri apologizes but can’t let it go, adding that he doesn’t think the owner knows how much better the good dog food is for his dog. It’s 10% more expensive but 80% less poison. At this point, Neve walks outside. The owner threatens to knock him out, so Dmitri decides to politely leave. Upon getting outside, the owner sees his leash is off of the pitbull. Just then, Dmitri wraps the leash around the owner, slams him to the ground, and drags him down the sidewalk and around the corner. He forces him to get on all fours and feeds him the dog food at gunpoint. Neve pulls the car around and wants to go, saying it’s just dog food. However, Dmitri argues that this is his whole point. It’s not just dog food. It’s basically compressed sawdust, and he refuses to leave until the dog owner samples some. The owner says he’d rather die than eat it, leading to Dmitri to pull him up. He points out what he just said and how it supports what he was trying to say for the last 15 minutes. Dmitri says other people in danger would eat another person, but this guy won’t even eat the dog food (“That’s some fucking profound shit”). Dmitri gets in his car, and the dog follows. He lets the owner know that he’s taking his dog while also noting how the tank top he’s wearing isn’t cool anymore unless he’s wearing it ironically.

If this is the guy chasing Charlie, he’s indeed in trouble.

My Thoughts:

If you are aware of who the actor and filmmaker is, Hit and Run can be described as the most “Dax Shepard” movie of all time. To some, this may sound like a negative, but it’s really not. We are big fans of the comedic stylings of Shepard and find him to be an underrated comic actor. Though his comedy movies of the 2000s may not win any awards, there’s a reason they get regular airtime on television. Simply put, they are a lot of fun. Sure, Shepard is not the traditional leading man and isn’t for everyone, but he’s authentic, down to earth, relatable, and funny. Shepard directs, writes, produces, and stars in Hit and Run and it’s obvious his hands are all over it. It can be seen in the humor, the cars, the violence, the attitude, the references and homages paid to old school Hollywood with certain story and character details, and above all else, the love. Acting alongside his real-life wife in Kristen Bell, Shepard’s action comedy may lose some steam towards the end, but it’s consistently engaging and unexpectedly entertaining.

Main character Charlie Bronson/Yul Perrkins parallels the real Dax Shepard in a lot of ways, with Hit and Run almost acting as both a dream project for its star as well as a cathartic experience. Just like Shepard himself, Charlie is trying to move on from his younger, troubled years. By his own self-admittance, Shepard dealt with addiction issues and was known to have a temper that led to a lot of violent encounters. For those who are interested, his podcast Armchair Expert has delved into this side of his life a lot. Over the years, the actor matured as he aged and found love in actress Kristen Bell. Due to finding his real-life soulmate in Bell and their building of a family together, Shepard’s mindset, general attitude about life, and his public persona has changed considerably. In Hit and Run, Shepard’s screenplay plays off of this well, creating a very likable protagonist and subsequently a heartfelt relationship that influences the viewer to fall in love with the main couple at hand. With Charlie, he too has a darker past just like Shepard. It’s implied by Charlie being in Witness Protection, and Annie knows this. However, she doesn’t know the whole story about why he’s there. Relating to many men, Charlie is about the here and now. He’s afraid about being too open with his life because he doesn’t want to scare Annie off. She’s the best thing to ever happen to him. Why would he want to jeopardize things when he can just bury them, assuming that the details will never resurface again since he’s in protective custody? Even so, Charlie loves Annie too much to stop her from growing as a person both professionally and personally. It would be selfish on his part to hold her back, even though his not being able to leave the small town of Milton due to his life potentially being in danger being a very valid reason as to why he’s hesitant. Charlie is angry hearing what her next step in life could become, but it’s not because of Annie succeeding in life. He’s happy for her and knows how much it means to her.

It’s not like he loves Milton either. He was just sent there. The problem is that Annie’s potential job, which is the first of its kind in the country, is in the one city he was supposed to avoid because he might be killed. More importantly, coming to LA may force him to dig up the past skeletons he was trying to put behind him in pursuit of this new, seemingly perfect life he was having with Annie. A tough guy like Charlie loving Annie enough to truly risk it all and put her needs first is a great tone-setter for the main narrative.

It shows why this is a blessing in disguise that allows Charlie to face his past and make up for what happened with people like his friends and his own father and how lovable his relationship with Annie is because he’s willing to face the heat if it means staying with her for the long haul. The chemistry between Shepard and Bell is as authentic as it comes on the big screen. There is real love in their eyes when they speak to each other, and you find yourself smiling as Charlie speaks his comforting words to Annie in the opening and closing of the film. It’s an energy that the viewer will find themselves wanting to replicate in their own relationship with their significant other. Now, someone may point to the fact that just because Shepard and Bell are married in real life, this is why they are able to make their relationship feel so natural, but people don’t realize how real relationships don’t always equate to chemistry onscreen. Sometimes, it can feel awkward, shy, or too manufactured. It doesn’t mean they aren’t compatible. It’s just that there is more to acting than that. At its core, there still has to be an understanding as to who the characters are within the film and if they are adhering to the story they want to tell regardless of who they are in real life. In Hit and Run, its biggest positive is how sweet and endearing Charlie and Annie are with each other, how they are stronger together, and how they learn from one another, despite how different the lives they live are, how unique their backgrounds and upbringings are, and how they still managed to find each other in the midst of it all. That is true love. In an action comedy where we see a dreadlocked Bradley Cooper threatening to kill Charlie for the money they stole from a bank and going to Iraq with it to buy $100,000 dinar to potentially get $300 million if it does go to the value of the Kuwait dollar, we still find that the core of the story goes back to how love manages to conquer all to prove that it was always meant to be (“I don’t think they’re gonna be caring about serial numbers in Iraq, bro”).

As Dmitri would say, “That’s some fucking profound shit”.

Speaking of Bradley Cooper, his role as the unhinged and unpredictable Dmitri contains some of the most underrated work of his career. Stealing the show as the against-type villain, he’s downright hilarious and goes for broke as the revenge-fueled antagonist. To this day, Cooper has not played a character remotely resembling Alex Dmitri. If anything, this movie needed more of his outlandish antics like busting into that naked, old person lemon party (“That’s fucking embarrassing!”). Going along with this, it all takes heed when he finally sees Charlie, and they air things out in their first face-to-face conversation that they’ve had since the incident. It gives us one of the funniest exchanges of the year that just fires on all cylinders. With Dmitri holding Annie hostage in the car and forcing Charlie to show up, Charlie talks about how he knows they hate him but argues that he didn’t have a choice. Dmitri goes off about how he indeed hates Charlie for betraying and testifying against him, but Charlie isn’t one to back down and counters with how Dmitri betrayed him by shooting someone, which put him in an unwinnable scenario where he had to pick between his fiancé and best friend (“That’s your fucking fault, so fuck you!”). Dmitri points out how Charlie wasn’t inside the bank and didn’t see the guard pointing a gun to Allen’s head, prompting the old Charlie to come out as he replies, “I’m sure the $6 an hour retard was going to shoot Allen! Are you fucking kidding me?”. After Charlie hilariously tells Allen to shut the fuck up when Allen suggests he could have been shot, Dmitri interrupts to say he just wants the money Charlie buried at his dad’s, though he refuses to give up Annie. Charlie doesn’t get why he wants to turn the whole thing into kidnapping when he’s cooperating, but Dmitri is vague while talking about how Charlie owes him and he wants him to feel the uncomfortable situation he was in. Now, the audience is led to believe that Dmitri’s complaining about being in jail for a paltry 8 months for what he did is the joke, and it is still funny, especially after Charlie points out how ridiculous this is because he had to practically be in Siberia for 4 years because of the fiasco, leading him to call Dmitri arrogant.

After Dmitri tries not to get into it and says he wouldn’t understand, Charlie continues to lash out and jokes about possibilities like he didn’t like the gym equipment or didn’t get enough time to read. Finally, Dmitri hits him with the line that honestly makes the movie with, “I got butt fucked… I got fucked in the butt because of you”. The silence in-between the pauses, the glances between all the characters and their looking around to avoid eye contact, and Cooper’s delivery is absolute comedic perfection. Everyone there feels for Dmitri too, which is even better. Charlie completely changes his tune with him after the period of silence and tries to make conversation with Dmitri. Clearly, it’s Annie’s influence creeping in, as Charlie tries to make the situation better by talking it out with Dmitri, but he just makes it worse by talking in circles. He comments how he didn’t realize this happened in jail and thought it was more of a prison thing, but the agitated Dmitri is quick to respond, “Yeah, well I guess it’s not exclusive to prisons”. Coinciding with the screenplay’s tone of trying to balance 2000s comedy with modern standards put in place by the Annie character’s influence over Charlie’s life, Charlie comments how Dmitri was never a homophobe, how it’s something he probably worked through, and that he’s a strong dude in general. However, Dmitri doesn’t want to hear his reasoning at all as he hysterically replies, “I don’t think homophobia has anything to do with it. The guy was disgusting. If I was gay, I’d still want to come after you”. In Dax Shepard fashion, Charlie apologizes but then asks if it was a black guy, prompting Dmitri to point out how it was racist to assume that. Digging the hole deeper with his unnecessary details to comical effect, Charlie goes on about how he doesn’t consider it racist and how it wouldn’t be gay for a black dude to fuck a white dude “because we’re such pussies compared to them”.

Naturally, Dmitri questions what the fuck he’s talking about, but Charlie doubles down and says he would consider a white guy a masculine woman if he were black. After he rambles about Ellen DeGeneres and how he would fuck her if he was single, Dmitri cuts him off and retorts that he wasn’t fucked by a black guy. He leads Charlie into the car after saying it wasn’t a Mexican guy either once he asks, and they drive off and have an awkward car ride. Still wanting to make things better because he feels partly responsible, he asks if it was a Nazi white guy, but it wasn’t. Annie tries to “white knight” it and tells Charlie that it doesn’t matter what race violated Dmitri but goes on long enough in her speech that Dmitri just loses it while he drives (“It was Filipino! I was butt fucked by a Filipino dude, okay? Does that fucking solve your dilemma of what part of the world my ass travelled to?”). Charlie again tries to soften things by relating back to his point about black dudes seeing white men as women, and he tries to make sense out of this by saying he thinks of all Asians as women, so it’s like Dmitri hooked up with a woman. Funnily enough, even Annie tells Charlie to stop in the scene as Dmitri replies that it wasn’t a hookup and he was raped (“Well, that’s a weird angle, bro”).

It was a textbook example Will Smith’s line in The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air of, “He’s a little confused, but he got the spirit”.

Still, Dax shines as the lead and as the man behind the camera. He showcases a serious handling of both solid and realistic action sequences, along with the authentic humor that comes out of regular conversation. The off-kilter movement in the rising action of the motel parking lot once Gil breaks Charlie’s nose with the golf club and him just moving at an angry pace as he drags and plops Gil into his own car before walking across the parking lot with blood all over him was electric (“That was a shitty thing to do Gil. That was really fucking selfish of you”). The energy is palpable, and Shepard maximizes the confined location through great camera work, a thorough understanding of the situation and the characters involved, and a serious sense of urgency that is conveyed flawlessly. Just Shepard’s delivery while he interrupts Annie’s shower and bypasses her screams at the sight of his bloody nose and shirt to say, “Honey, we have got to go right now. I’ll tell u about it in the car, okay?”, her trying to bring up the other car with the lost engine because she’s confused, and his commanding the situation like with, “Baby, this is life or death. I really need you to get out of this shower right this second, okay? Let’s go” was immaculate. It cannot be stressed enough how perfect his delivery was. This was a loving future husband in a dire situation talking to his future wife. It’s as simple as that. He just owned the scene and sold the entire story in this simple exchange. This in combination with them packing up in a frenzy, and it’s accompanied by Hispanic music and rapid editing while Charlie mentions how the people he testified against are in the lobby was expertly handled. Besides this, the car chase scenes were shockingly underwhelming for it being such a major part of the main character’s life. Other than the cool moment where “Voodoo Child” plays, nothing substantial happens in any of the car chases or crashes. It did remind me that we need more dune buggy representation in movies though (“Start this ridiculous vehicle!”).

Though it’s the driving force of Annie’s character, her insanely stupid doctorate in Non-Violent Conflict Resolution does not help the characters whatsoever in regard to the people that are chasing them because they are people who only respond to violence. It’s treated like it can solve all these issues and Annie acts like it can, but she only puts it to use with Charlie, which felt like she was manipulating certain conversations (which she does in the final interview too) and then reacting shocked as if he didn’t warn her ahead of time that she might not like certain details. Had she put her “skills” to the test with Gil or Dmitri’s team when she was taken hostage, maybe the character would have proven her worth, but Annie only using it on the one person who has this undying love for felt pretty smug because she knows Charlie is the only person who will actually hear her out. This again would prove why her degree can’t be used in a lot of real situations, as Annie only testing her skills on Charlie and no one else in the situation who could ACTUALLY USE HER INFLUENTIAL WORDS shows her own personal ego problems that are never touched on. She’s right in that a lot of problems can be solved without violence which is something Charlie needs to learn, but the screenplay should have given Charlie a little more credit because his experience has taught him that some problems do need to be solved with an ass-kicking. The earliest example of this is when Gil tails them before they leave town, and they pull over. Charlie has already given this guy a long leash, but Gil actively following them is a threat. This is enough for Charlie to want to beat the shit out of him. The issue is that Annie wants to Charlie to do it her way. Mind you, Gil is her ex-boyfriend. She is the one who wants to solve this in a peaceful manner, so why doesn’t she take the initiative? They don’t have time for Charlie to take his first lesson in nonviolent conflict resolution, another point that he’s correct on.

He’s risking everything here with every minute he wastes, but Annie wants to hit pause on all of it and wants him to do all the work even though she has a doctorate in the subject? Are we kidding? The least she could do is show her work and prove to the audience that this doctorate wasn’t a waste of money, but she doesn’t at all. She doesn’t use her “magic” on any of the characters who could use her expertise and strictly uses it on Charlie to lecture him with smug conversations about what’s right and wrong. You could argue that her words led Charlie to reconnect with his dad, but the exchange they have in the third act would have happened anyway. Charlie has a good enough head on his shoulders to bring up the same things he did, and they were going to see each other anyway because Dmitri was going to take them there anyway to get the money.

A lot of Annie’s “infinite wisdom” also overly relies on false equivalencies to make Charlie’s points seem dumb in comparison. In reality, he just doesn’t have the doctorate and has lived a completely different life than her, which is why he has a different perspective. Instead of trying to understand without judging on how he gets there, she immediately gets on him for being wrong in the modern sense. For someone as educated as Annie, this is a really ignorant way to react. In one scene where David Koechner appears playing a hillbilly that admires Charlie’s car (“How many ponies?”), Annie comments to Charlie on the ride out that Charlie’s car attracts a certain type of guy. Playing devil’s advocate, she brings up how Charlie spent two years building his dream car and how he may have noticed it was the dream car of a certain type of person. For the sake of convenience, she refers to this type as “rapists”. She wants to know what Charlie thinks this says about the old him that built it. First of all, this is seriously antiquated thinking to relate anyone who has a hobby like this has to be related in some way and there is some deep psychological issue rooted in any like or interest. Generalizing stuff like this can be dangerous. You would think an intellectual like Annie could see this, but the character clearly hasn’t experience shit in her life, which actually makes sense due to her being as confident as she is in thinking nonviolent solutions can solve everything. Well, it sure as fuck didn’t help when Dmitri was waving a gun in all their faces because she just stood there! Nevertheless, Charlie argues a decent point in that his car was designed specifically for him. He wanted it to be fast as hell, could seat 6 people, and have the trunk size of an SUV. Annie just asks why, and Charlie can sense she’s insinuating that he has a small dick complex and calls her out on it. However, she plays coy and says she was just teasing, but we see her teasing earlier in the movie and this was not it (“There’s a parrot driving this car!”). She was insinuating something.

It was clear as day, but Charlie being handcuffed to the fact that he can’t tell her about his previous life makes Annie in her own mind feel like she’s right about her assumptions.

Thankfully, Charlie saves it with his passive aggressive response that digs deep into Annie’s psyche just as well, as he argues that couples can’t really tease each other. They pretend they can, but there is usually some kind of truth or judgment hidden in the teasing. He even uses himself as an example as a way to warn her without explicitly saying it, adding that he can joke with her about being too fat or tall but anything else is probably hinting at something that bothers him about her (“I’m framing it as a joke so that when a fight ensues, I don’t have to take responsibility for it”). It’s a great line. Naturally, there isn’t a moment where he follows through on this setup to put it into action, but it’s a good exchange, nonetheless. Another example of how they handle this is during their blow-up scene. Once again, Annie pulls out the false equivalency card and relates his lying about being a getaway driver to if she had sex with a co-worker and didn’t tell him. Charlie rightfully points out how this is different and would be a lie since they are in a relationship and they owe each other those kinds of details. Granted, omitted is a lying. Annie is right on that, but Charlie challenges her by telling her that he wouldn’t have cared if she had three-ways and did cocaine. He just cares about who she is right then and there. Annoyingly, Annie goes right back to her what-about-isms and brings up the outlandish hypothetical of if she was a pedophile or a member of the Ku Klux Klan that it wouldn’t bother him or make him feel like an idiot for falling in love with her. To quote White Goodman, this is pure poppycock! Anytime Charlie brings up these stupid points, everyone gives him shit, but the film frames Annie bringing equally ridiculous points to the conversation as her being the one who is in the right. To try to appeal to her reasoning, Charlie even argues that she could look past what he’s done if he was an ex-drug addict or an ex-alcoholic, but she retorts that this isn’t the point. How? He’s literally using her logic and suddenly this isn’t the point? Are you seeing what I’m saying? I didn’t care for this, especially with how much it happens.

I love how she dodges Charlie’s question on if she would have fallen in love with him if he was completely honest with her. She might say she doesn’t know and changes the subject, but we all know she wouldn’t have.

That is the one glaring issue with the screenplay, as it’s all put on Charlie to prop up Annie, even though he’s sacrificing a lot. Annie not getting slightly humbled at the most altered an otherwise cute dynamic of a badass being tamed by his small but incredibly sweet counterpart. Despite this, the viewer can’t help but root for them every step of the way, as none of their private conversations or moments together feel inauthentic. Their first scene in the motel is a great example of this. Annie keeps pressing Charlie about Gil saying “Yul Perrkins” out loud until Charlie finally reveals that it’s his real name to her. He assumes this would lead to an argument between them since he never told her. Truthfully, in a movie with a premise like this, he’s right. The “You lied to me” trope is played constantly to set up the inevitable breakup of the two main characters. To Annie’s credit, she handles the overload of information well and doesn’t reach her breaking point until much later when more details are revealed about the case and how he was previously engaged to Neve. Then, the “You lied to me” trope comes into play. Still, her lovingly telling Charlie that his real name sounds like a Sesame Street character, him explaining how he got named after Yul Brynner because his dad thought the actor was a badass (and he was), and how Charlie was the one who picked the name Charles Bronson because it was a tough guy name and because he actually found the English prisoner intriguing was just great dialogue all around. It’s even funnier later on when Charlie’s dad’s name is revealed to be “Clint”. Old guys love their action heroes. I get it. Nevertheless, in just one simple scene where the two lay together and talk, the viewer is treated to further insight into Charlie’s entire life without saying too much, showed more of his vulnerable side, and with Annie’s reactions to it all, how likable and caring she is (“That is the most adorable thing I’ve ever heard”). With that being said, her calling Charlie being intrigued by the English prisoner “weird” was another audacious thing to say from someone with a doctorate.

Has she not read up on that guy? He was fascinating!

From a writing perspective, Annie politely asking if Charlie wants to drop it, and he confirms so they kiss, was such a simple solution to end the scene and it did wonders in showing their bond and how understanding they are of each other. It’s very enjoyable. It’s also an example of how the little things can go a long way, like Annie beginning to search Charlie’s real name on her laptop but decides against hitting the button after seeing a picture of them kissing on the background or Charlie interrupting her shower to tell her that the hillbilly from the gas station stole his $12,000 engine and she can’t do anything other than say earnestly, “Sorry your engine was stolen, sweetie!”.

Though the “B” story of Tom Arnold’s Randy being the clumsiest bastard in California and Terry getting involving is nothing more than minorly amusing, Michael Rosenbaum was a surprising gem as the doofus ex-boyfriend, Kristen Chenoweth was very funny in making the most out of her wacky character (“Don’t be a pussy”), and Jason Bateman’s small role in the third act was peak Bateman (“That you, ginge?” – “Yeah” – “Good God”). Furthermore, Sean Hayes is just as delightful in his brief but memorable role in the closing sequence, so it all evens out in the end.

On that note however, why didn’t they just make Hayes’s part the ending of the film instead of putting it immediately after the credits begin? Randy and Terry ending the movie didn’t feel right. It should have went straight from the final conversation between Charlie and Annie to Annie going into the office and having the amusing interview. This coupled with the disappointing climax is the other small chunk that takes away from the final grade.

The interesting moral dilemma that is an underlying theme of the story is the question many reformed criminals are posed with every day. When do they stop being guilty in the eyes of the public? If they do everything to move on, can others look past it? Can these other people see how they have made a concerted effort to becoming a better person trying to live an honest life? Charlie deals with this firsthand. Even though we know about his past as a getaway driver for bank robberies, Shepard’s performance shows why the page can be turned. Charlie is adamant that he wants this to be put behind him. After he explains to Annie about how he stole the car through this elaborate way of how you can go to the dealership, use the VIN number to get a new code, how they program it for you if you lose your keyless entry, and that he got a new code and programmed the car, due to having passwords for different dealerships, Annie begins to freak out. Even with all of Annie’s experience, knowing Charlie was involved in shady things in his past, and knowing how real his heart is, she even has to take a step back to judge. Charlie speaks the word of many who have been involved in this situation, as he worriedly admits that he’s afraid she might not want to be with him if they get into the darker details. Even the nicest person on the surface who swears they won’t judge may have a change of heart when faced with such a reality of someone they are close with. The question is if they can look past this because they know who their significant other is now. In fairness, Annie is right to reply that if they don’t have the conversation that she can’t be with him because she does need to trust Charlie and has earned the right to hear his story. Once he does explain how he was a getaway driver for the bank robberies (13 for the record), he still is quick to add that he saw Witness Protection as a new beginning, and he wasn’t going to be that guy anymore. He admits his terrible past but argues that it doesn’t have anything to do with their relationship.

It falls on deaf ears because the one who prides herself on being understanding wants to know how he went about his testifying, which leads to the straw that broke the camel’s back in that he was engaged to Neve, which led to them implying he wasn’t a credible witness. It’s an overload of information, and it tests their love. As we know in real life, everyone talks a big game of love and understanding of all walks of life until they are faced with the real thing firsthand. When this happens, suddenly everyone’s thought processes change and hypocrisy becomes more prevalent. This narrative does a great job at bringing this real-world problem to light. It might not be the focus, but it’s an underrated detail. Hit and Run might be a regular action comedy, but its romantic angle playing with this enduring theme and having even the most understanding girlfriend in Annie trying to look past previous faults STILL have trouble in being convinced of her boyfriend’s honesty once she learns about his past is a real eye-opener to this conversation many of us have to this very day. Thankfully, Charlie and Annie, as well as Dax Shepard and Kristin Bell for that matter, have proved that true love can prevail regardless of one’s past, and that’s a great final note to end on. If given the chance, he will be the person that she fell in love with for the rest of his life, along with not buying into “get rich quick schemes that profit from war-torn countries”.

Someone cue Pete Townsend’s “Let My Love Open the Door” please!

Dax Shepard’s underrated Hit and Run is a forgotten comedy gem. Though not without its faults, the movie maintains a great pace, keeps the viewer engaged from start to finish with excellent performances by its leads, has an amusing supporting cast, solid humor, and is a lot of fun throughout. On top of the filmmaker clearly living out his male fantasy onscreen, his work as a director and screenwriter makes Hit and Run a great date night movie as well, and it’s solely due to the electric chemistry of Shepard and the always adorable Kristen Bell.

This is the type of fun that we miss having at the movies. Was 2012 really that long ago?